White nights, and other storiesDostoyevsky, Fyodor
General
White nights, and other stories
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, 1821-1881 -- Translations into English; Russian fiction -- Translations into English
"Why, with no one, with an ideal, with the one I dream of in my sleep. I
make up regular romances in my dreams. Ah, you don't know me! It's true,
of course, I have met two or three women, but what sort of women were
they? They were all landladies, that.... But I shall make you laugh if I
tell you that I have several times thought of speaking, just simply
speaking, to some aristocratic lady in the street, when she is alone, I
need hardly say; speaking to her, of course, timidly, respectfully,
passionately; telling her that I am perishing in solitude, begging her
not to send me away; saying that I have no chance of making the
acquaintance of any woman; impressing upon her that it is a positive
duty for a woman not to repulse so timid a prayer from such a luckless
man as me. That, in fact, all I ask is, that she should say two or three
sisterly words with sympathy, should not repulse me at first sight;
should take me on trust and listen to what I say; should laugh at me if
she likes, encourage me, say two words to me, only two words, even
though we never meet again afterwards!... But you are laughing; however,
that is why I am telling you...."
"Don't be vexed; I am only laughing at your being your own enemy, and if
you had tried you would have succeeded, perhaps, even though it had been
in the street; the simpler the better.... No kind-hearted woman, unless
she were stupid or, still more, vexed about something at the moment,
could bring herself to send you away without those two words which you
ask for so timidly.... But what am I saying? Of course she would take
you for a madman. I was judging by myself; I know a good deal about
other people's lives."
"Oh, thank you," I cried; "you don't know what you have done for me
now!"
"I am glad! I am glad! But tell me how did you find out that I was the
sort of woman with whom ... well, whom you think worthy ... of attention
and friendship ... in fact, not a landlady as you say? What made you
decide to come up to me?"
"What made me?... But you were alone; that gentleman was too insolent;
it's night. You must admit that it was a duty...."
"No, no; I mean before, on the other side--you know you meant to come up
to me."
"On the other side? Really I don't know how to answer; I am afraid
to.... Do you know I have been happy to-day? I walked along singing; I
went out into the country; I have never had such happy moments. You ...
perhaps it was my fancy.... Forgive me for referring to it; I fancied
you were crying, and I ... could not bear to hear it ... it made my
heart ache.... Oh, my goodness! Surely I might be troubled about you?
Surely there was no harm in feeling brotherly compassion for you.... I
beg your pardon, I said compassion.... Well, in short, surely you would
not be offended at my involuntary impulse to go up to you?..."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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