New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Television game show hosts -- Fiction
The house was emptying out. The two glass control booths at the back of
the orchestra were filled with gesticulating agency men who might or
might not be berating Raeburn Sachs, the director, and Sol Eggleston,
the network camera-director. Jake's nostrils dilated. The stage was in
a turmoil. Six dancers in snow-crystal costumes dashed past him with
their duck-footed gait, whispering nervously.
"Angie ... Flo ... Ruthanna!" Lennox called. They were his favorite
pipe-lines to the backstage. They glanced at him with frightened
eyes, looked away and scampered up the iron stairs to the dressing
rooms on the balcony overlooking the stage. In a corner book-fold set
representing Santa's workshop, Oliver Stacy was snarling at Kay Hill, a
thin, attractive girl with acid eyes and a slack mouth.
The camera crews and stagehands were striking equipment and sets in
silence. There was no chatter or laughter despite the fact that the
Grabinett office had slushed them with Christmas graft and it smelled
as though the graft had been sampled. Lennox turned and looked across
the house to the right boxes where the musicians' platform was built,
searching for his friend, Sam Cooper, the rehearsal pianist. The
musicians were leaving. Sam was nowhere in sight. Lennox mustered
himself for another fight. Carrying his naked weapons ready for quick
murder, he strode to the star dressing room on stage, knocked once and
entered, prepared for attack or defense.
The star stood in scarlet Santa costume with half a beard clinging to
his lantern jaw. Mig Mason was thin, dark, young, with a good hairline
and a bad nose-job. He was sobbing hysterically. His wife, Irma, in a
mink coat, wearing Christmas orchids, a bad platinum dye and a good
nose-job, was trying to soothe him. The producer, Mel Grabinett,
blinking and jerking, was roaring at Tooky Ween, Mason's agent. Diggy
Dixon, the dummy, in gnome's costume, sprawled on the dressing table
alongside the door and regarded the scene with a wooden grin.
"I don't care how much you're worth," Grabinett stuttered. "I don't
care how much goddam billing you handle. What the hell are you trying
to do? Bury my show?"
"What are you trying to do?" Ween rumbled. "Bury my property?"
"It ain't bad enough you gouge my budget for three grand. Three
Almighty Grand for that special skyscraper set so he can crawl around
like a cowardy cockroach and drop the dummy and turn my show into a
trappisty--"
"I told you I had to have three hours' rehearsal on camera," Mason
shrieked.
"He had to have three hours," Irma said.
"But then he has to bitch the telephone contestant!" The producer's
face twitched hideously. "She give him the right answer. Kris Kringle,
she said. My operator was monitoring that Kansas call. She heard it.
The dame give the right answer."
"She did not," Mason cried. "Tell him, Tooky. The right answer was St.
Nicholas."
"The right answer was St. Nicholas," Irma said.
"It was Kris Almighty Kringle, you no-talent son of a--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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