"No--I shall be all right presently--I'll keep it raised----"
She put her elbow on the back of her chair, and the bandaged hand rested
lightly on his shoulder.
At that touch an entirely new anxiety stirred suddenly within him.
Hundreds of times previously, on their jaunts and excursions, she had
slipped her hand within his arm as she might have slipped it into the arm
of a brother, and he had accepted the little affectionate gesture as a
brother might have accepted it. But now, for the first time, there rushed
into his mind a hundred startling questions. Her eyes were still closed,
and her head had fallen pathetically back; and there was a lost and
ineffable smile on her parted lips. The truth broke in upon him. Good
God!... And he had never divined it!
And stranger than all was that, now that he did see that she was lost in
love of him, there came to him, not sorrow and humility and abasement,
but something else that he struggled in vain against--something entirely
strange and new, that, had he analysed it, he would have found to be
petulance and irritation and resentment and ungentleness. The sudden
selfish prompting mastered him before he was aware. He all but gave it
words. What was she doing there at all? Why was she not getting on with
her own work? Why was she here interfering with his? Who had given her
this guardianship over him that lately she had put forward so
assertively?--"Changed?" It was she, not himself, who had changed....
But by the time she had opened her eyes again he had overcome his
resentment sufficiently to speak gently, albeit with reserve.
"I wish you would let me take you to a doctor."
She rose.
"No, thank you, Paul," she said. "I'll go now. If I need a dressing I'll
get one; take the other hand, please. Good-bye--"
He did not attempt to detain her. He walked with her to the foot of the
stairs. Half-way along the narrow alley she turned.
"It would be a long way to come if you happened not to be in," she said;
"I'll send you a postcard the next time."
At the gate she turned again.
"Leave here, Paul," she said, with a mournful look. "Everything's wrong
with this house."
Then she was gone.
Oleron returned to his room. He crossed straight to the window-box. He
opened the lid and stood long looking at it. Then he closed it again and
turned away.
"That's rather frightening," he muttered. "It's simply not possible that
I should not have removed that nail...."
VI
Oleron knew very well what Elsie had meant when she had said that her
next visit would be preceded by a postcard. She, too, had realised that
at last, at last he knew--knew, and didn't want her. It gave him a
miserable, pitiful pang, therefore, when she came again within a week,
knocking at the door unannounced. She spoke from the landing; she did not
intend to stay, she said; and he had to press her before she would so
much as enter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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