Refused ten thousand dollars for a tobacco indorsement There is not much choice between a removal & a funeral What is biography? Unadorned romance Whenever I enjoy anything in art it means that it is poor Won't be anybody for you to get acquainted with but God Won't you please say something funny?" MARK TWAIN, A BIOGRAPHY, 1900-1907 by Albert Bigelow Paine [mt5bg10.txt]#2986 "Adams Memorial," by Saint-Gaudens A Dog's Tale Abhorred extortion and visible waste. After seventy we are respected--but don't need to behave American public opinion is a delicate fabric Asked forgiveness for the tears he had brought into her life Back Number Beethoven's Fifth Symphony Beethoven's sonatas and symphonies also moved him deeply Bible Blasphemy Cavalleria Rusticana Classic--something that everybody wants to have read Convenient bronchitis Count among my privileges in life that I know you, the author Covetousness to-day was the basis of all commerce Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron Death was the thing that we did not believe in. Died at the right time, in the flower of youth and happiness Do right and you will be conspicuous Doctrine of Selfishness Don't you care more about the wretchedness of others Each letter or character should have one sound Enough of this world, and I wish I were out of it Find out what the country's customs are Gentleman Give her soap and towel, but hide the looking-glass God is sitting up nights worrying over the individuals God must love you! Hail you as the Voltaire of America Hair His conscience was always repairing itself How poor we are to-day! Human being needs to revise his ideas again about God I am as one who wanders and has lost his way I am tired & old; I wish I were with Livy I am tired wanting for that man to get old I would not call her back if I could If I could only see a dog that I knew in the old times Billiards Impatient as the Creator doubtless was to see man Impromptu speech It was his habit to grow fond of his surroundings Jester, who for forty years had been making the world laugh Last and best of life for which the first was made Learned the meaning of grief Letter on inadvertant theft on a visit to friends Life is a game of whist. Looks like a good deal of trouble for such a small result Loss of one whose memory is the only thing I worship Machine that is as unreliable as he is would have no market Man the irresponsible Machine Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired Massacre of Jews in Moscow Mental healing No general fondness for poetry; but many poems appealed to him Number of things I can remember that aren't so One could lose a dog in this bed," he declared Only dead men can tell the truth in this world Our alphabet is pure insanity Oyster has hardly any more reasoning power than a man Patriotism that proposed to keep the Stars and Stripes clean Pier Political conscience into somebody else's keeping Poorest, clumsiest excuse of all the creatures