‘David!’ said grannie, with a reproachful dignity, ‘_you_ know what I
mean well enough. You know that until I have done what I have to do,
the grave that is waiting for me will not open its mouth to receive me.
If you will only allow me to do what I have to do, I shall not trouble
you long. Oh dear! oh dear!’ she broke out, moaning and rocking herself
to and fro, ‘I am too old to weep, and they will not let me to my bed.
I want to go to bed. I want to go to sleep.’
She moaned and complained like a child. My uncle went near and took her
hand.
‘Come, come, dear grannie!’ he said, ‘you must not behave like this.
You know all things are for the best.’
‘To keep a corpse out of its grave!’ retorted the old lady, almost
fiercely, only she was too old and weak to be fierce. ‘Why should you
keep a soul that’s longing to depart and go to its own people,
lingering on in the coffin? What better than a coffin is this withered
body? The child is old enough to understand me. Leave him with me for
half an hour, and I shall trouble you no longer. I shall at least wait
my end in peace. But I think I should die before the morning.’
Ere grannie had finished this sentence, I had shrunk from her again and
retreated behind my uncle.
‘There!’ she went on, ‘you make my own child fear me. Don’t be
frightened, Willie dear; your old mother is not a wild beast; she loves
you dearly. Only my grand-children are so undutiful! They will not let
my own son come near me.’
How I recall this I do not know, for I could not have understood it at
the time. The fact is that during the last few years I have found
pictures of the past returning upon me in the most vivid and
unaccountable manner, so much so as almost to alarm me. Things I had
utterly forgotten--or so far at least that when they return, they must
appear only as vivid imaginations, were it not for a certain conviction
of fact which accompanies them--are constantly dawning out of the past.
Can it be that the decay of the observant faculties allows the memory
to revive and gather force? But I must refrain, for my business is to
narrate, not to speculate.
My uncle took me by the hand, and turned to leave the room. I cast one
look at grannie as he led me away. She had thrown her head back on her
chair, and her eyes were closed; but her face looked offended, almost
angry. She looked to my fancy as if she were trying but unable to lie
down. My uncle closed the doors very gently. In the middle of the stair
he stopped, and said in a low voice,
‘Willie, do you know that when people grow very old they are not quite
like other people?’
‘Yes. They want to go to the churchyard,’ I answered.
‘They fancy things,’ said my uncle. ‘Grannie thinks you are her own
son.’
‘And ain’t I?’ I asked innocently.
‘Not exactly,’ he answered. ‘Your father was her son’s son. She forgets
that, and wants to talk to you as if you were your grandfather. Poor
old grannie! I don’t wish you to go and see her without your aunt or
me: mind that.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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