Some days after, Clara sent for me, and I had to tell her the whole
story. Then, with agony in every word she uttered, she managed to
inform me that, when she went in after I had left her at the door that
night, she found waiting her a note from Charley; and this she now gave
me to read. It contained a request to meet him that evening at the very
place which I had appointed. It was their customary rendezvous when she
was in town. In all probability he was there when we were, and heard
and saw--heard too little and saw too much, and concluded that both
Clara and I were false to him. The frightful perturbation which a
conviction such as that must cause in a mind like his could be nothing
short of madness. For, ever tortured by a sense of his own impotence,
of the gulf to all appearance eternally fixed between his actions and
his aspirations, and unable to lay hold of the Essential, the Causing
Goodness, he had clung, with the despair of a perishing man, to the dim
reflex of good he saw in her and me. If his faith in that was indeed
destroyed, the last barrier must have given way, and the sea of madness
ever breaking against it must have broken in and overwhelmed him. But
oh, my friend! surely long ere now thou knowest that we were not false;
surely the hour will yet dawn when I shall again hold thee to my heart;
yea, surely, even if still thou countest me guilty, thou hast already
found for me endless excuse and forgiveness.
I can hardly doubt, however, that he inherited a strain of madness from
his father, a madness which that father had developed by forcing upon
him the false forms of a true religion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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