During our journey, Mr Osborne had seldom talked to us, and far more
seldom in speech sympathetic. If by chance I came out with anything I
thought or felt, even if he did not disapprove altogether, he would yet
first lay hold of something to which he could object, coming round only
by degrees, and with differences, to express consent. Evidently with
him objection was the first step in instruction. It was better in his
eyes to say you were wrong than to say you were right, even if you
should be much more right than wrong. He had not the smallest idea of
siding with the truth in you, of digging about it and watering it until
it grew a great tree in which all your thought-birds might nestle and
sing their songs; but he must be ever against the error--forgetting
that the only antagonist of the false is the true. ‘What,’ I used to
think in after-years, ‘is the use of battering the walls to get at the
error, when the kindly truth is holding the postern open for you to
enter, and pitch it out of window.’
The evening before we parted, he gave us a solemn admonishment on the
danger of being led astray by what men called the beauties of
Nature--for the heart was so desperately wicked that, even of the
things God had made _to show his power_, it would make snares for our
destruction. I will not go on with his homily, out of respect for the
man; for there was much earnestness in him, and it would utterly shame
me if I were supposed to hold that up to the contempt which the forms
it took must bring upon it. Besides, he made such a free use of the
most sacred of names, that I shrink from representing his utterance. A
good man I do not doubt he was; but he did the hard parts of his duty
to the neglect of the genial parts, and therefore was not a man to help
others to be good. His own son revived the moment he took his leave of
us--began to open up as the little red flower called the Shepherd’s
Hour-Glass opens when the cloud withdraws. It is a terrible thing when
the father is the cloud, and not the sun, of his child’s life. If
Charley had been like the greater number of boys I have known, all this
would only have hardened his mental and moral skin by the natural
process of accommodation. But his skin would not harden, and the evil
wrought the deeper. From his father he had inherited a conscience of
abnormal sensibility; but he could not inherit the religious dogmas by
means of which his father had partly deadened, partly distorted his;
and constant pressure and irritation had already generated a great
soreness of surface.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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