Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
“Well,” I said blunderingly, “I am a woman with ideas--heaps of
ideas. I have thought about your business particularly, and I am
full of suggestions. I believe them to be valuable, but before I
hand them over to you I should like to come to some business
arrangement; either in the way of a cash payment, or, where
practicable, a percentage on profits. In the latter case, of course,
I should expect permission to inspect your books and----”
At this moment the clerk, who had been writing at a side table, with
his back to me, went off like a soda-water bottle. I am inclined to
think now that for some moments he must have been suffering severely.
“Shut up, or get out!” said the manager to the clerk.
The clerk, being unable to shut up, got out at once. Then the
manager turned to me.
“Extraordinary!” he said seriously. “Most extraordinary. And yet
you don’t look as if you’d been drinking.”
Then I got up. “My proposal seems to you very silly,” I said. “And,
because I was nervous, I put it all very badly. But I do not think
that justifies you in behaving like a cad.”
He gave a jump in his chair. Being a person in authority, he did not
get a chance to hear the plain truth about himself often.
“Nor do I,” he said reflectively. “I beg your pardon. Still, the
thing was so outrageous; you must see, my dear young lady, that we
could not dream for one moment----”
“Thanks,” I said. “I won’t trouble you any further.”
If I had stuck to that man and given him one or two of my ideas in
advance, reserving the question of terms, I am not sure that I might
not have done something. He would have liked to compensate for his
rudeness, if he could have done it. But, being proud and angry and
an idiot, I walked out. My one idea was to get out of the awful
place.
I tried two or three other shops, and began at the right end, but did
very little better. One man listened to three of my ideas for
Christmas novelties, very politely regretted that he could not avail
himself of them, and showed me out. He used two of those ideas
subsequently and made money with them, and I hope it may choke him.
Another man listened to a still longer list and, while disclaiming
any legal liability, offered me five shillings for my trouble.
So, as things were going rather badly, I was particularly glad of the
windfall which came to me in connection with the man behind the door.
It was one of those queer things that cannot happen except in big
cities. It is part of the fascination of London that every moment of
the day and night something more wicked and more strange is happening
than one could ever invent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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