Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
On the day after the funeral I got the only letter I ever received
from my grandfather. It did not pretend to any grief over the dead,
and it informed me, in a courteously acidulated way, that he did not
wish to see me and that I had nothing to expect from him. But it
enclosed a cheque for two hundred pounds, to cover present expenses
and until I was able to get work.
Now, I think a really fine and high-spirited girl out of a penny book
would have torn that cheque in half and sent it back to him with a
few dignified words. But I did not see why my butcher and baker and
candlestick maker should be called upon to finance my exhibition of a
proud and imperious nature. That was what it would have come to, for
we owed money to the butcher and the baker, and I do not doubt we
should have owed it to the candlestick maker as well, but for the
fact that there was no candlestick maker in the village. So I
wrote:--
“DEAR GRANDPAPA,--Thanks very much for the two hundred pounds, which
will be most useful, but you don’t seem to know how to write a letter
to a girl who has just lost her father. I shan’t bother you.--Your
affectionate granddaughter,
“WILHELMINA.”
Then the parson and the doctor came round, and they were two good
men. The doctor said that medical etiquette did not permit him to
make any charge to an orphan girl, and that if he took my money he
would be hounded out of the profession, and quite properly. But I
told him that I thought he was lying, and made him take the money.
As it was, he had given us any amount of his care and time and
charged about half nothing for it. He was not a rich man either.
The parson said that his wife wanted someone to act as a companion
and to assist in looking after the little girls. I thanked him very
much, but I said that I believed, if she thought it over, she would
find that she didn’t. They gave me lots of good advice, and when I
sold all the furniture and effects they bid frantically against one
another for the six bottles of distinctly inferior sherry which at
that time constituted our entire cellar. Other friends did similar
acts of kindness at the sale. I had meant it to be a perfectly
genuine sale, but all the time I felt that I was passing round the
hat. I do not think the auctioneer has ever forgotten it. The way
that sherry, with the maker’s name giving it away on every bottle,
fetched the price of a vintage Chateau d’Yquem of great age, must
have made an indelible impression.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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