Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
For a time things went very badly. My luck was right out. A point
was reached when I doubted if I could continue to afford four
shillings a week for the quite invaluable services of Minnie Saxe. I
was determined that this should be almost the last of my economies.
I was quite willing to economise on food and firing and--yes, even on
dress. But I did not want to make my own bed any more. I had to get
the more sordid part of the work of living done for me. Naturally I
was not anxious that Minnie Saxe should discover the badness of my
luck and the lowness of my exchequer. She accepted without comment
my statement that I found tea and bread-and-butter the best breakfast
if one were going to work in the morning. She said nothing when I
found it was more hygienic to work in a cold room. When she came in
unexpectedly one night and caught me in the very act of dining on tea
and bread-and-butter she became extremely bad-tempered and was rather
rude. Next morning she informed me that her cousin at Yarmouth had
sent them a present of a box of kippers, and her father had taken the
liberty of asking if I would accept six with his best thanks for all
my kindness to her. I went into my own room to cry, and then came
back and had a kipper for breakfast. They were remarkably good
kippers, fat and well-liking.
An exclusive diet of tea and bread-and-butter would perhaps be good
for many people, but it does not act as a stimulus to the
imagination. The editors at this time sent my work back with
commendable promptitude; but I did get one little story placed in
_Tomlinson’s Magazine_, which I had considered to be altogether too
high for me and had only attempted in desperation. I had a
mutton-chop for dinner the night I received my cheque, and this gross
feeding, acting on an already enfeebled constitution, as they say in
the obituaries, led me to believe that I could write just the kind of
serial that _Tomlinson’s Magazine_ would like. I planned it all out
that night. Next morning I took a ’bus to the City to see the editor
of _Tomlinson’s Magazine_ and tell him all about my idea.
He consented to see me. He seemed to be a very young man and very
tired, and had the fingers of a confirmed cigarette-smoker. An older
and a fatter man was standing by his side when I was shown in, and
was handing him some proof sheets for inspection.
“Cut out ‘A Mother’s Prayer,’ and fill up with small jokes.
Otherwise all right.” The fat man went out and the editor turned to
me. I began to tell him my business.
“About a serial story!” he said. “All right, send it in and we’ll
read it.” He rose from his chair and glanced at the large, framed
notice on the wall. The notice said--
“YOU CAN SAY IT ALL IN FIVE MINUTES.”
I followed the glance and looked back at him. “So I can,” I said,
“and I don’t want to waste any time over a long story unless I know
that it has, at any rate, a chance.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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