There seems to be a lot of talk about woman suffrage going on lately. It’s in reference to giving women the same right to vote that men have. Some men are in favor of it, while others are not; but, strange to say, the politicians to a man are against giving woman the right to vote, and I’ll tell you why. A politician can get up in front of a gathering of men, throw out his chest and exclaim: “I am man’s greatest friend”—and they’ll believe him. But can that man get up before a crowd of women and say: “I am woman’s greatest friend”? [Illustration: “I am man’s greatest friend” ] No, sir—not on your life! They wouldn’t believe him—not while there is a bottle of Lydia Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound on the market! * * * * * In front of the office of the New York Journal [name local paper] on last election night, a tremendous crowd had gathered. They pushed and squeezed each other in order to get a look at the election returns that were being shown by the stereopticon. An old maid passed that way, and wishing to continue on down the street she said to a police officer standing there: “Officer, can I get through that crowd?” [Illustration: “Officer, can I get thru that crowd?” ] He looked at her a moment and said: “Lady, if you attempt to go through that crowd you’ll be squeezed ’most to death.” A bright smile overspread her antique countenance as she looked up at him and said: “O, I’m not afraid to die!” Then she jumped into the crowd. * * * * * In a small town in New England, where the laws against prize-fighting are very strict, an ambitious youth by the name of Green was caught training for a fight. He was arrested and brought before the Judge, who said: “Mr. Green, you are charged with violating the law by training for a prize-fight; have you anything to say in your defense?” “Well, your honor,” said Green, “is it against the law for a young lady to put on a corset?” “No,” replied the Judge, “it is not.” “Then, your honor,” said Green, “I ask to be discharged, as there is no difference between a fighter training for a fight and a young woman putting on her corsets—they are both getting into shape.” [Illustration: “I ask to be discharged” ] By Joseph Horrigan [Illustration] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Now the thing we call love is like lager beer, Only good when it’s fresh on tap, I fear. Out of cut-glass and silver of course it’s nice, If you can afford it and have the price; But you’ll find any day when your purse is small That from pewter it’s better than no beer at all. The one thing important, and this is no “con,” Is to get your drink quick, while the thirst is on. ------------------------------------------------------------------------