"The Big Wind" started gracefully--he always did that, and the House
listened indulgently while he patted every one on the back--not
forgetting himself. This occupied some fifteen minutes, during which
the reporters began to ask one another in whispers, "Why doesn't he get
going?" They were beginning to wonder if he would ever get going when
he said, "And now, Mr. Speaker, as to the budget." There was a
suppressed "Ah!" in the press gallery, followed by a surprised "Oh!"
when "The Big Wind" averred that "budgets" had been known since the
world began. He delved into a pile of manuscript, and made some
allusion to the Book of Genesis--without giving any one the slightest
idea of what he was talking about. He paid a great deal of attention
to Genesis, he stayed with it for an hour or so, in fact. People began
to leave the galleries, members left the chamber to find solace in the
smoking-room or the library. The managing editor of the chief leading
government organ, who had condescended to take a seat in the press
gallery, told the three reporters representing the paper to cut the
speech to one column, and himself returned to his office. An hour
later this editor telephoned to the press gallery and asked one of his
reporters, "Say, where is that chump now?"
"Well," answered the reporter, "he's just figuring on leading the
children of Israel into the promised land."
"It's a pity the Egyptians couldn't kill him," shouted the editor; "cut
him down to half a column."
And "The Big Wind" went on blowing. At six o'clock he had left the
children of Israel to their fate, and was grappling with the Norman
invasion of England. The House adjourned for dinner then, and it is on
record that as they walked the corridor to the dining-room, a member of
the cabinet asked the premier, "Where in the name of all we stand for
is this fellow going to land?" that the premier, without even the trace
of a blush, answered in two words, and that one of them rhymed with
"well."
"The Big Wind" resumed his address at eight o'clock at night and
concluded it at eleven, with a few playful allusions to the Peninsular
War and an expression of regret that time did not permit of his dealing
with other matters no less important.
And this was the man that Mid-Toronto was asked to return again because
his own party was afraid to antagonise him, and the opposition felt
that they hadn't a ghost of show to carry a riding that for twenty
years had beaten their candidates by large majorities. It looked
indeed as though "The Big Wind" might be elected by acclamation.
Two weeks before the official nomination, Whimple, himself a dabbler in
politics and a supporter of the government, heard, with other rumours,
that an independent candidate would be in the field in Mid-Toronto, and
the next morning the rumours were declared, by no less a personage than
William Adolphus Turnpike, to have truth as their foundation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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