When he took his seat, next morning, in the train bound for Dieppe, his
mind was made up—made up fiercely and definitely—on his future course of
action; and as a result something that was by comparison peace had
succeeded to the chaos and dazed rebellion of his first few hours of
loss. His companion noticed the change in his manner and bearing; it
was not that he seemed more resigned, but that he had ceased to
drift—his eyes were as haggard as yesterday, but not so vague and
purposeless. So far during their brief but close acquaintance she had
treated him perforce as she would have treated a child—providing for his
bodily and mental needs and giving him kindly orders; now, ignorant and
obedient as he still was in the matter of foreign travel, he was once
more a reasonable being. He was still for the most part sunk in his own
thoughts, but not helplessly and endlessly so; he was capable of being
roused and at intervals he roused himself. Once when they halted she was
struck by the intentness with which he gazed at a trainload of soldiers
in khaki—new come from England and moving up from Havre to the front.
They crossed at a wayside station, and the two trains stood side by side
for some minutes while William craned out of the window to stare at the
brown young faces that were thrust from the opposite carriages. The
sight moved him, if not in the same fashion as it moved his companion;
he felt no tightening of the throat and no pride in the men themselves.
What kept his head at the window till the train moved off was chiefly
the thought that soon he would be even as these sunbrowned men of war,
the personal desire to know what manner of men they were, how they lived
and moved and had their daily military being. Hitherto a soldier of the
home-grown variety had been to him nothing more definite than an
impression of uniform, khaki and occasionally red; now, with the eyes of
his newborn interest, he became aware of detail that had formerly
escaped him, and compared him in figure, in face and garment, with Heinz
and Heinz’s companions. These hot-faced lads smoking pipes and calling
jests would be his own comrades in days to come; thus he studied their
features, their dress, their manner, as a small boy scans and studies
the bearing of his future schoolfellows. If he did not thrill at the
sight of young men about to die, he sent with them (remembering
Griselda) his strong desire for their great and terrible victory.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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