Between the uttering and fulfilment of Faraday’s prophecy William’s way,
for the next few weeks, was the way of drift and uncertainty; it was
also the way of great loneliness, an experience entirely new to him.
Loneliness not only by reason of the loss of his wife, but because of
the gap that the war had made between himself and his former associates.
With the ending of his platform and committee career he was cut off,
automatically and completely, from the fellowship of those who had been
his co-workers in the various causes and enthusiasms he had once
espoused and advocated. It was not that all of his former co-workers
would have disagreed with his altered point of view; his was not the
only perversion to militarism the stalwarts had to deplore; it was
merely that he ceased to meet them. All the same the new isolation in
which he lived was largely due to his own initiative or lack of it,
since many, even among the stalwarts would have given him kindly welcome
and done their best to be of help to him personally; but after the
meeting in Bloomsbury he felt small desire to seek them out. On the
contrary, he shrank into himself and avoided, as far as possible, any
contact with those whose very presence would remind him of the busy,
self-satisfied life he had passed in their company, of the vanished,
theoretical world where he had met Griselda and loved her. It was a real
misfortune that his small private income, though to a certain extent
affected by the war, was yet sufficient to keep a roof over his head and
supply him with decent necessaries of food and clothing. Thus, he was
not driven to the daily work of hand or brain that might have acted as a
tonic to the lethargic hopelessness of his mood. Nature had not made
him versatile and he had lived in a groove for years; and, his
occupation as a public speaker gone, he was left without interest as
well as without employment. More than once, goaded into spasmodic
activity by some newspaper paragraph, he offered himself vaguely for
war-work—only to be discouraged afresh by the offer of an entirely
unsuitable job or by delays and evasions which might have discouraged
men more competent and energetic than himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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