Some one, he thought, kept him back from the body while they lifted it
down from the cart; there was a stir and bustle and three or four people
gathered round, hiding it for a moment from his sight. One, he
remembered, had the goat by the horns and was trying to drag it aside;
the goat was refractory, kicked and bleated and made itself the centre
of a scuffle. Afterwards he pushed through them all and stood looking
down at his wife.
As he looked at her—limp, with glazed eyes and fallen jaw—there swam
before his memory a pitiful vision of the dear Griselda he had married.
He saw her—this huddle of rags and dirt—in her wedding garments, fussed
and dainty, with her bouquet tied with suffragette ribbons. He
remembered the expression, self-conscious and flushing, wherewith she
had given her hand that he might place the ring on her finger; and how,
when they were first alone as man and wife, he had taken the hand that
wore the ring and kissed it till she drew it away. The crowd in the
little house at Balham, the handshakes, the well-wishing faces—they were
all so close and so present that they gave the lie to this dead woman
dropped by the roadside. He looked down stupidly while the bystanders
whispered and stared.
He did not know how long he sat beside her, nursing a dead hand in his
own; but he knew he hated and shrank from the people around him—a group
that kept forming and moving away and whispering as it gazed at himself
and the body of his wife. It was a changing little crowd, never more
than a dozen or so; men and women who stopped in their passing by,
muttered questions, heard low answers, looked curious or pitying and
moved on. He hated its inquisitiveness, he shrank from its pity,
desiring to be alone with his dead. That he might not see its curious
and pitying faces he pressed a hand over his eyes.
After some time—either minutes or hours—came a hand on his shoulder that
stayed till he moved and looked up. He who had touched him wore the
garb of a priest; was stout, not over-well washed or brushed, but kindly
of manner and countenance. He spoke while the crowd stared and listened;
William moved his head irritably, muttered, "I can’t understand what you
say," and would have covered his eyes again if he had not heard an
English voice beside him. It was a woman who had caught his words and
now pushed through the bystanders: a tall young woman in tweed coat and
skirt, who had stayed to look over the shoulders of the shifting group.
"You are English?" she said. "What has happened?" He stared up at her
for a moment, amazed at the sound of his own tongue.
"My wife is dead," he told her; and, hearing himself say the words
aloud, he burst into a passion of sobbing. Through it he choked
incoherent appeals to "take them away—for God’s sake to let him be
alone." He turned his face to the wall and wept, long and brokenly, as
one who has nothing more to hope; and for a time they left him till the
paroxysm should wear itself out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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