Edith Haynes knew her way about Paris; and the little hotel in a quiet
side-street, where a taxi deposited herself and her companion, was one
that had sheltered her in days less eventful and strenuous, and where
Madame, in consequence, was compassionate and not contemptuous at being
asked to shelter two late arrivals in the last stage of dirt and
untidiness. William, before he sat down to eat, had exchanged his torn
garments for the suit of an absent son, called up on the first day of
mobilization; and for all his ache and dull stupor of sorrow, he knew
something of the blessing of bodily relief when he washed in hot water
and was clean. He had had no real sleep since the night before Griselda
died; now the need for it came down on him like a heavy cloud and, great
as was also his need for food, he could hardly keep his eyes open
through supper. When he woke next morning it was nearing midday and he
had more than slept the clock round.
He pressed the bell as he had been told to do when he woke; and with the
coffee and rolls that arrived at the summons came a pencilled note from
his mentor. She had gone out to look up her relatives, and also to
inquire about the time and manner of the journey from Paris to London;
she wrote that she might not be back at the hotel for some hours, but
the envelope that enclosed her communication enclosed likewise a
tactfully proffered loan for the immediate needs of her
fellow-traveller’s wardrobe. But for the reminder it would have hardly
occurred to him that his wardrobe was in need of renewal; he had grown
so accustomed in the last long days to being ordered, guided, or driven
that he had lost the habit of directing his own doings. As it was, he
breakfasted, dressed himself again in the suit of Madame’s absent son,
and was instructed by Madame herself where to find a barber for an
overdue shave and an outfitter capable of English. Thither he went,
made his purchases mechanically and returned to the hotel with his new
suit of black in a parcel. It seemed to him, as he walked the Paris
streets, as he bought and paid and spoke of things that did not matter,
that his sense of loss and his longing for Griselda was stronger even
than in the first hours after her death. It was accentuated by his
contact with the civilized, the normal; by the sights and sounds of the
everyday world to which Griselda belonged. She had had no place in the
strange French village where she died, no place in the misery and dirt
of the crowded truck; but here where life, to all seeming, was as usual,
where the streets were like enough to English streets to produce, after
country solitude and the savagery of bloodshed, the illusion of dear
familiarity: here she should have walked with her arm in his. Here she
would have chatted, have gazed in shop windows and bargained ... and
long years faced him with their deadly never as he went his way without
her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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