Later, when he had returned to the hotel and changed into his new black
suit, a wild fit of useless rage came over him—and alone in his
third-floor bedroom he cursed the devils who had killed his wife, the
devils who had made the war. Under his breath, lest he should be heard
in the corridor, he called down the vengeance of God on their evil
heads, breaking inevitably, as his own store of invective gave out into
lyrical reminiscence of that Biblical lore with which his mother had
imbued him through Sunday after Sunday of his childhood; believing in
the God whose existence he had usually ignored (and often doubted)
because of his need of an avenger and a present help in his trouble. In
that moment the God whom he sought—and it may be found—was the Lord God
of Hosts, the Mighty One of Israel, Who was wont to strike the wicked
and spare not; and the desire of his shaken and rebellious soul was even
as the desire of him who sang out his hatred by the alien waters of
Babylon. The hotel chambermaid put an end to his whispered prayer and
anathema by tapping on the door to inform him that lunch was waiting on
the table.
Edith Haynes, when she returned in the late afternoon with news that the
journey could be made on the following day by way of Dieppe and
Folkestone, found him clad in his new-bought mourning for Griselda and
poring over English newspapers. His eyes were still haggard and moved
her to pity, but she took it as a good sign that his stupor of grief had
passed and that he had begun (as his first question told her) to feel a
need for more information which might bridge the month’s gap in his
knowledge of the outer world. She gave him, with such detail as she had
in her possession, the story of the outbreak of war and the causes
thereof: and from her he learned for the first time of the ultimatum to
Servia, and the tension thereby created; of the political consequences
of the invasion of Belgium, and the feverish days of hesitation in
England that had ended, on the Fourth of August, with the formal
declaration of war. He listened, sometimes puzzled but always intent,
from time to time putting a question that revealed his blank ignorance
of the network of European politics; to which she replied as clearly as
she could, showing him maps and talking on in the hope of distracting
him from the thoughts behind his haggard eyes. By degrees she gleaned,
from his hesitating queries and disconnected comments, some
understanding not only of his profound ignorance of the forces that had
brought about the war, but of the upheaval of his mind and soul which
was the direct and inevitable consequence of the loss of his former
faith. Once or twice as they talked he quoted her scraps and jerks of
anti-militarist propaganda—from Faraday, from orators of the Trades
Union Congress, from a speech of Philip Snowden’s in Parliament urging
the reduction of the Navy—and she saw that he was trying to justify to
himself his attitude and creed of yesterday.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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