Booksellers and bookselling -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Poets -- Fiction
“Ha, ha, very good, very good!” said Mr. W. P. Walkinshaw, as he
began writing, “Messrs. Crumpett and Hawker have had the extreme
gratification of reading the MS. of your very able and deeply
thoughtful work, _The Genuflexions of a Natural Christian_.” Having
committed this sentence to paper he paused ere he shaped the next, and
said in that manner which expert criticism allowed to be almost as
“authentic” as that of Mr. Octavius himself, “Tell me, Dodson, do you
candidly consider that young Jordan is fit to occupy a stool in the
counting-house of Crumpett and Hawker?”
Mr. Dodson, whose technique was far too fine to reply off-hand to a
direct canvass of his judgment by one of the calibre of Mr. Walter
Pater Walkinshaw, notwithstanding that he was in a position to do so,
appeared to parry the question delicately.
“Well, sir,” he said, with such an approximation to the manner of Mr.
Octavius, that for a moment the luminary at the low table had the
illusion that he had presumed to catechize the head of the firm, “well,
sir,” said Mr. Dodson, “since you--ah, put the question point-blank,
as one might say, perhaps it is incumbent upon one to observe that
whatever opinion one may form, one may not always feel justified
in--ah, giving it expression.”
“One respects your scruples immensely, Mr. Dodson, they do you credit,”
said Mr. W. P. Walkinshaw, who also respected that eminent worldling’s
diction and mode of utterance immensely, although he did not say so;
“but I invite you, Mr. Dodson, to be perfectly frank. I need not say
your frankness will go no farther.”
“Well, sir, if you really _press_ the question,” said Mr. Dodson, with
a simplicity he did not feel, “I have--ah, come to the con-clusion,
reluctantly to the con-clusion that William Jordan, Junior,
idiomatically speaking, is not more than fivepence ha’penny to the
shilling.”
“That is to say, Dodson,” said Mr. Walter Pater Walkinshaw, “in your
opinion he is _non compos mentis_?”
“That is so, sir, putting it classically, which unfortunately I am not
in the habit of doing myself,” said Mr. Dodson. “In fact, sir, since
you appear to press the question, it is my opinion that, allowing for
the usual trade discount, fivepence ha’penny to the shilling is nothing
like good enough for the counting-house of Crumpett and Hawker.”
“I agree with you, Dodson, I am entirely of that opinion myself,” said
Mr. W. P. Walkinshaw, sighing deeply. “And I assume it behoves one to
convey such an opinion to Mr. Octavius.”
This suggestion, however, plunged Mr. Dodson in deep thought. Such
a verdict had only to be presented to the head of the firm, for his
extreme solicitude for the traditions of Crumpett and Hawker, to ensure
the immediate dismissal of William Jordan, Junior. And in the light of
that day’s developments, during their first luncheon together, such a
consummation was not wholly to be desired.
“There is just one point, sir,” said Mr. Dodson, “that is if one is
free to mention it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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