_Spark._ Nay, faith, I'll make you laugh.--It cannot be, says a third lady.--Yes, yes, quoth I again.--Says a fourth lady-- _Horn._ Look to't, we'll have no more ladies. _Spark._ No--then mark, mark, now. Said I to the fourth, Did you never see Mr. Horner? he lodges in Russel-street, and he's a sign of a man, you know, since he came out of France; ha! ha! ha! _Horn._ But the devil take me if thine be the sign of a jest. _Spark._ With that they all fell a-laughing, till they bepissed themselves. What, but it does not move you, methinks? Well, I see one had as good go to law without a witness, as break a jest without a laugher on one's side.--Come, come, sparks, but where do we dine? I have left at Whitehall an earl, to dine with you. _Dor._ Why, I thought thou hadst loved a man with a title, better than a suit with a French trimming to't. _Har._ Go to him again. _Spark._ No, sir, a wit to me is the greatest title in the world. _Horn._ But go dine with your earl, sir; he may be exception. We are your friends, and will not take it ill to be left, I do assure you. _Har._ Nay, faith, he shall go to him. _Spark._ Nay, pray, gentlemen. _Dor._ We'll thrust you out, if you won't; what, disappoint anybody for us? _Spark._ Nay, dear gentlemen, hear me. _Horn._ No, no, sir, by no means; pray go, sir. _Spark._ Why, dear rogues-- _Dor._ No, no. [_They all thrust him out of the room._ _All._ Ha! ha! ha! _Re-enter_ SPARKISH. _Spark._ But, sparks, pray hear me. What, d'ye think I'll eat then with gay shallow fops and silent coxcombs? I think wit as necessary at dinner, as a glass of good wine; and that's the reason I never have any stomach when I eat alone.--Come, but where do we dine? _Horn._ Even where you will. _Spark._ At Chateline's? _Dor._ Yes, if you will. _Spark._ Or at the Cock?[73] _Dor._ Yes, if you please. _Spark._ Or at the Dog and Partridge? _Horn._ Ay, if you have a mind to't; for we shall dine at neither. _Spark._ Pshaw! with your fooling we shall lose the new play; and I would no more miss seeing a new play the first day, than I would miss sitting in the wit's row. Therefore I'll go fetch my mistress, and away. [_Exit._ _Enter_ PINCHWIFE. _Horn._ Who have we here? Pinchwife? _Pinch._ Gentlemen, your humble servant. _Horn._ Well, Jack, by thy long absence from the town, the grumness of thy countenance, and the slovenliness of thy habit, I should give thee joy, should I not, of marriage? _Pinch._ [_Aside._] Death! does he know I'm married too? I thought to have concealed it from him at least.--[_Aloud._] My long stay in the country will excuse my dress; and I have a suit of law that brings me up to town, that puts me out of humour. Besides, I must give Sparkish to-morrow five thousand pounds to lie with my sister.