_Mrs. Pinch._ Shan't I say, "Dear Sir?"--You know one says always something more than bare "sir." _Pinch._ Write as I bid you, or I will write whore with this penknife in your face. _Mrs. Pinch._ Nay, good bud--"Sir"--[_Writes._ _Pinch._ "Though I suffered last night your nauseous, loathed kisses and embraces"--Write! _Mrs. Pinch_ Nay, why should I say so? You know I told you he had a sweet breath. _Pinch._ Write! _Mrs. Pinch._ Let me but put out "loathed." _Pinch._ Write, I say! _Mrs. Pinch._ Well then. [_Writes._ _Pinch._ Let's see, what have you writ?--[_Takes the paper and reads._] "Though I suffered last night your kisses and embraces"--Thou impudent creature! where is "nauseous" and "loathed?" _Mrs. Pinch._ I can't abide to write such filthy words. _Pinch._ Once more write as I'd have you, and question it not, or I will spoil thy writing with this. I will stab out those eyes that cause my mischief. [_Holds up the penknife._ _Mrs. Pinch._ O Lord! I will. _Pinch._ So--so--let's see now.--[_Reads._] "Though I suffered last night your nauseous, loathed kisses and embraces"--go on--"yet I would not have you presume that you shall ever repeat them"--so--[_She writes._ _Mrs. Pinch._ I have writ it. _Pinch._ On, then--"I then concealed myself from your knowledge, to avoid your insolencies."--[_She writes._ _Mrs. Pinch._ So-- _Pinch._ "The same reason, now I am out of your hands--" [_She writes._ _Mrs. Pinch._ So-- _Pinch._ "Makes me own to you my unfortunate, though innocent frolic, of being in man's clothes"--[_She writes._ _Mrs. Pinch._ So-- _Pinch._ "That you may for evermore cease to pursue her, who hates and detests you"--[_She writes on._ _Mrs. Pinch._ So--heigh! [_Sighs._ _Pinch._ What, do you sigh?--"detests you--as much as she loves her husband and her honour--" _Mrs. Pinch._ I vow, husband, he'll ne'er believe I should write such a letter. _Pinch._ What, he'd expect a kinder from you? Come, now your name only. _Mrs. Pinch._ What, shan't I say "Your most faithful humble servant till death?" _Pinch._ No, tormenting fiend!--[_Aside._] Her style, I find, would be very soft.--[_Aloud._] Come, wrap it up now whilst I go fetch wax and a candle; and write on the backside, "For Mr. Horner." [_Exit._