_Lady Fid._ But first, my dear sir, you must promise to have a care of my dear honour. _Horn._ If you talk a word more of your honour, you'll make me incapable to wrong it. To talk of honour in the mysteries of love, is like talking of Heaven or the Deity, in an operation of witchcraft, just when you are employing the devil: it makes the charm impotent. _Lady Fid._ Nay, fy! let us not be smutty. But you talk of mysteries and bewitching to me; I don't understand you. _Horn._ I tell you, madam, the word money in a mistress's mouth, at such a nick of time, is not a more disheartening sound to a younger brother, than that of honour to an eager lover like myself. _Lady Fid._ But you can't blame a lady of my reputation to be chary. _Horn._ Chary! I have been chary of it already, by the report I have caused of myself. _Lady Fid._ Ay, but if you should ever let other women know that dear secret, it would come out. Nay, you must have a great care of your conduct; for my acquaintance are so censorious, (oh, 'tis a wicked, censorious world, Mr. Horner!) I say, are so censorious, and detracting, that perhaps they'll talk to the prejudice of my honour, though you should not let them know the dear secret. _Horn._ Nay, madam, rather than they shall prejudice your honour, I'll prejudice theirs; and, to serve you, I'll lie with 'em all, make the secret their own, and then they'll keep it. I am a Machiavel in love, madam. _Lady Fid._ O, no sir, not that way. _Horn._ Nay, the devil take me, if censorious women are to be silenced any other way. _Lady Fid._ A secret is better kept, I hope, by a single person than a multitude; therefore pray do not trust any body else with it, dear, dear Mr. Horner. [_Embracing him._ _Enter_ Sir JASPER FIDGET. _Sir Jasp._ How now! _Lady Fid._ [_Aside._] O my husband!--prevented--and what's almost as bad, found with my arms about another man--that will appear too much--what shall I say?--[_Aloud._] Sir Jasper, come hither: I am trying if Mr. Horner were ticklish, and he's as ticklish as can be. I love to torment the confounded toad; let you and I tickle him. _Sir Jasp._ No, your ladyship will tickle him better without me, I suppose. But is this your buying china? I thought you had been at the china-house. _Horn._ [_Aside._] China-house! that's my cue, I must take it.--[_Aloud._] A pox! can't you keep your impertinent wives at home? Some men are troubled with the husbands, but I with the wives; but I'd have you to know, since I cannot be your journeyman by night, I will not be your drudge by day, to squire your wife about, and be your man of straw, or scarecrow only to pies and jays, that would be nibbling at your forbidden fruit; I shall be shortly the hackney gentleman-usher of the town.