_Mrs. Pinch._ Won't you tell her, indeed, and indeed? _Pinch._ No; speak, I say. _Mrs. Pinch._ She'll be angry with me; but I had rather she should be angry with me than you, bud; and, to tell you the truth, 'twas she made me write the letter, and taught me what I should write. _Pinch._ [_Aside._] Ha!--I thought the style was somewhat better than her own.--[_Aloud._] Could she come to you to teach you, since I had locked you up alone? _Mrs. Pinch._ O, through the key-hole, bud. _Pinch._ But why should she make you write a letter for her to him, since she can write herself? _Mrs. Pinch._ Why, she said because--for I was unwilling to do it-- _Pinch._ Because what--because? _Mrs. Pinch._ Because, lest Mr. Horner should be cruel, and refuse her; or be vain afterwards, and show the letter, she might disown it, the hand not being hers. _Pinch._ [_Aside._] How's this? Ha!--then I think I shall come to myself again.--This changeling could not invent this lie: but if she could, why should she? she might think I should soon discover it.--Stay--now I think on't too, Horner said he was sorry she had married Sparkish; and her disowning her marriage to me makes me think she has evaded it for Horner's sake: yet why should she take this course? But men in love are fools; women may well be so--[_Aloud._] But hark you, madam, your sister went out in the morning, and I have not seen her within since. _Mrs. Pinch._ Alack-a-day, she has been crying all day above, it seems, in a corner. _Pinch._ Where is she? let me speak with her. _Mrs. Pinch._ [_Aside._] O Lord, then she'll discover all!--[_Aloud._] Pray hold, bud; what, d'ye mean to discover me? she'll know I have told you then. Pray, bud, let me talk with her first. _Pinch._ I must speak with her, to know whether Horner ever made her any promise, and whether she be married to Sparkish or no. _Mrs. Pinch._ Pray, dear bud, don't, till I have spoken with her, and told her that I have told you all; for she'll kill me else. _Pinch._ Go then, and bid her come out to me. _Mrs. Pinch._ Yes, yes, bud. _Pinch._ Let me see--[_Pausing._ _Mrs. Pinch._ [_Aside._] I'll go, but she is not within to come to him: I have just got time to know of Lucy her maid, who first set me on work, what lie I shall tell next; for I am e'en at my wit's end. [_Exit._ _Pinch._ Well, I resolve it, Horner shall have her: I'd rather give him my sister than lend him my wife; and such an alliance will prevent his pretensions to my wife, sure. I'll make him of kin to her, and then he won't care for her. _Re-enter_ Mrs. PINCHWIFE. _Mrs. Pinch._ O Lord, bud! I told you what anger you would make me with my sister. _Pinch._ Won't she come hither? _Mrs. Pinch._ No, no. Lack-a-day, she's ashamed to look you in the face: and she says, if you go in to her, she'll run away down stairs, and shamefully go herself to Mr. Horner, who has promised her marriage, she says; and she will have no other, so she won't.