_Man._ Truth, which you won't care to hear; therefore you had better go talk with somebody else. _Ald._ No, I know nobody can inform me better of some young wit, or spendthrift, that has a good dipped[118] seat and estate in Middlesex, Hertfordshire, Essex, or Kent; any of these would serve my turn: now, if you knew of such a one, and would but help-- _Man._ You to finish his ruin. _Ald._ I'faith, you should have a snip-- _Man._ Of your nose, you thirty-in-the-hundred rascal; would you make me your squire setter, your bawd for manors? [_Takes him by the nose._ _Ald._ Oh! _Free._ Hold, or here will be your third law-suit. _Ald._ Gads-precious, you hectoring person you, are you wild? I meant you no hurt, sir: I begin to think, as things go, land-security best, and have for a convenient mortgage, some ten, fifteen or twenty thousand pound by me. _Man._ Then go lay it out upon an hospital, and take a mortgage of Heaven, according to your city custom; for you think by laying out a little money to hook in that too hereafter. Do, I say, and keep the poor you've made by taking forfeitures, that Heaven may not take yours. _Ald._ No, to keep the cripples you make this war. This war spoils our trade. _Man._ Damn your trade! 'tis the better for't. _Ald._ What, will you speak against our trade? _Man._ And dare you speak against the war, our trade? _Ald._ [_Aside._] Well, he may be a convoy of ships I am concerned in.--[_Aloud._] Come, captain, I will have a fair correspondence with you, say what you will. _Man._ Then prithee be gone. _Ald._ No, faith; prithee, captain, let's go drink a dish of laced coffee,[119] and talk of the times. Come, I'll treat you: nay, you shall go, for I have no business here. _Man._ But I have. _Ald._ To pick up a man to give thee a dinner. Come, I'll do thy business for thee. _Man._ Faith, now I think on't, so you may, as well as any man: for 'tis to pick up a man to be bound with me, to one who expects city security for-- _Ald._ Nay, then your servant, captain; business must be done. _Man._ Ay, if it can. But hark you, alderman, without you-- _Ald._ Business, sir, I say, must be done; and there's an officer of the treasury [_Several cross the stage._] I have an affair with--[_Exit._ _Man._ You see now what the mighty friendship of the world is; what all ceremony, embraces, and plentiful professions come to! You are no more to believe a professing friend than a threatening enemy; and as no man hurts you, that tells you he'll do you a mischief, no man, you see, is your servant who says he is so. Why the devil, then, should a man be troubled with the flattery of knaves if he be not a fool or cully; or with the fondness of fools, if he be not a knave or cheat? _Free._ Only for his pleasure: for there is some in laughing at fools, and disappointing knaves.