English drama (Comedy); English drama -- 17th century
_Man._ That's a pleasure, I think, would cost you too dear, as well
as marrying your widow to disappoint her. But, for my part, I have no
pleasure by 'em but in despising 'em, wheresoe'er I meet 'em; and then
the pleasure of hoping so to be rid of 'em. But now my comfort is, I am
not worth a shilling in the world, which all the world shall know; and
then I'm sure I shall have none of 'em come near me.
_Free._ A very pretty comfort, which I think you pay too dear for.--But
is the twenty pound gone since the morning?
_Man._ To my boat's crew.--Would you have the poor, honest, brave
fellows want?
_Free._ Rather than you or I.
_Man._ Why, art thou without money? thou who art a friend to everybody?
_Free._ I ventured my last stake upon the squire to nick him of his
mother; and cannot help you to a dinner, unless you will go dine with
my lord--
_Man._ No, no; the ordinary is too dear for me, where flattery must pay
for my dinner: I am no herald or poet.
_Free._ We'll go then to the bishop's--
_Man._ There you must flatter the old philosophy: I cannot renounce my
reason for a dinner.
_Free._ Why, then let's go to your alderman's.
_Man._ Hang him, rogue! that were not to dine; for he makes you drunk
with lees of sack before dinner, to take away your stomach: and there
you must call usury and extortion God's blessings, or the honest
turning of the penny; hear him brag of the leather breeches in which he
trotted first to town, and make a greater noise with his money in his
parlour, than his cashiers do in his counting-house, without hopes of
borrowing a shilling.
_Free._ Ay, a pox on't! 'tis like dining with the great gamesters; and
when they fall to their common dessert, to see the heaps of gold drawn
on all hands, without going to twelve. Let us go to my Lady Goodly's.
_Man._ There to flatter her looks. You must mistake her grandchildren
for her own; praise her cook, that she may rail at him; and feed her
dogs, not yourself.
_Free._ What d'ye think of eating with your lawyer, then?
_Man._ Eat with him! damn him! To hear him employ his barbarous
eloquence in a reading upon the two-and-thirty good bits in a shoulder
of veal, and be forced yourself to praise the cold bribe-pie that
stinks, and drink law-French wine as rough and harsh as his law-French.
A pox on him! I'd rather dine in the Temple-rounds or walks, with the
knights without noses, or the knights of the post, who are honester
fellows and better company. But let us home and try our fortune; for
I'll stay no longer here for your damned widow.
_Free._ Well, let us go home then; for I must go for my damned widow,
and look after my new damned charge. Three or four hundred years ago a
man might have dined in this Hall.[120]
_Man._
But now the lawyer only here is fed;
And, bully-like, by quarrels gets his bread.
[_Exeunt._
ACT THE FOURTH.
SCENE I.--MANLY'S _Lodging._
_Enter_ MANLY _and_ FIDELIA.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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