At about eleven o'clock next morning, mamma came to my bedside, having
thrown her dressing-gown on, and holding a note in her hand. I was
awakened by her calling me by my name; and the extraordinary exertion of
getting out of her bed at such an hour, the morning after a ball, even
if there had not been consternation in her looks, would have satisfied
me that something unusual had happened. I sat up staring at her.
"Oh, dear Ethel, here's a note from Doctor Droqville; I'm so
shocked--poor, dear Aunt Lorrimer is dead." And mamma burst into tears,
and, sobbing, told me to read the note, which, so soon as I had a little
collected myself, I did. It said:
"Dear Mrs. Ware,--I could not, of course, last night tell you the
sad news about Lady Lorrimer. She arrived, it seems, on Tuesday
last, to die in England. On leaving Lady Mardykes's last night, I
went to her house to make inquiries; she was good enough to wish to
see me. I found her in a most alarming state, and quite conscious
of her danger. She was sinking rapidly. I was, therefore, by no
means surprised, on calling about half an hour ago, to learn that
she was no more. I lose no time in communicating the sad
intelligence. It will be consolatory to you to learn that the
nurses, who were present during her last moments, tell me that she
died without any pain or struggle. I shall call to morrow, as near
twelve as I can, to learn whether there is anything in which you
think my poor services can be made available.--I remain, dear Mrs.
Ware, Ever yours sincerely,
P. Droqville."
I was very sorry. I even shed some tears, a thing oftener written about
than done.
Mamma cried for a long time. She had now no near kinswoman left. When we
are "pretty well on," and the thinned ranks of one generation only stand
between us and death, the disappearance of the old over the verge is a
serious matter. Between mamma and Lady Lorrimer, too, there were early
recollections and sympathies in common, and the chasm was not so wide.
But for the young, and I was then young, the old seem at best a sort of
benevolent ghosts, whose presence, more or less, chills and awes, and
whose home is not properly with the younger generation. Their memories
are busy with a phantom world that passed away before we were born. They
are puckered masks and glassy eyes, peeping from behind the door of the
sepulchre that stands ajar, closing little by little to shut them in for
ever. I am now but little past forty, yet I feel this isolation stealing
upon me. I acquiesce in the law of nature, though it seems a cynical
one. I know I am no longer of the young; I grow shy of them; there is a
real separation between us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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