I looked at that fine, melancholy, energetic face as if he had saved me.
I could not thank him. I turned and entered our room again, and told
Nelly to be of good courage, that the doctor was come. "And, oh! please
God, he'll do you good, my own darling, darling--precious darling!"
In a minute more the doctor was in the room. My eyes were fixed upon his
face as he talked to his poor little patient; he did not look at all as
he had done on his former visit. I see him before me as I write; his
bald head shining in the candle-light, his dissatisfied and gloomy face,
and his shrewd light blue eyes, reading her looks askance, as his
fingers rested on her pulse.
I remember, as if the sick-room had changed into it, finding myself in
the small room opposite, with no one there but the doctor and Miss Grey,
we three, in the cold morning light, and his saying, "Well all this
comes of violating directions. There is very intense inflammation, and
her chest is in a most critical state."
Then Miss Grey said, after a moment's hush, the awful words, "Is there
any danger?" and he answered shortly, "I wish I could say there wasn't."
I felt my ears sing as if a pistol had been fired. No one spoke for
another minute or more.
The doctor stayed, I think, for a long time, and he must have returned
after, for he mixed up in almost every scene I can remember during that
jumbled day of terror.
There was, I know, but one day, and part of a night. But it seems to me
as if whole nights intervened, and suns set and rose, and days uncounted
and undistinguished passed, in that miserable period.
The pain subsided, but worse followed; a dreadful cough, that never
ceased--a long, agonised struggle against a slow drowning of the lungs.
The doctor gave her up. They wanted me to leave the room, but I could
not.
The hour had come at last, and she was gone. The wild cry--the terrible
farewell--nothing can move inexorable death. All was still.
As the ship lies serene in the caverns of the cold sea, and feels no
more the fury of the wind, the strain of cable, and the crash of wave,
this forlorn wreck lay quiet now. Oh! little Nelly! I could not believe
it.
She lay in her nightdress under the white coverlet. Was this whole scene
an awful vision, and was my heart breaking in vain? Oh, poor simple
little Nelly, to think that you should have changed into anything so
sublime and terrible!
I stood dumb by the bedside, staring at the white face that was never to
move again. Such a look I had never seen before. The white glory of an
angel was upon it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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