Forth sped Laura Grey's letter to mamma. She was then at Roydon; papa
was with her. The Easter recess had just sent down some distinguished
visitors, who were glad to clear their heads for a few days of the hum
of the Houses and the smell of the river; and my father, although not in
the House, ran down with them. Little Nelly had been his pet, as I was
mamma's.
There was an awkwardness in post-office arrangements between the two
places then, and letters had to make a considerable circuit. There was a
delay of three clear days between the despatch of the letter and the
reply.
I must say a word about papa. He was about the most agreeable and
careless man on earth. There are men whom no fortune could keep out of
debt. A man of that sort seems to me not to have any defined want or
enjoyment, but the horizon of his necessities expands in proportion as
he rises in fortune, and always exceeds the ring-fence of his estate.
What its periphery may be, or his own real wants, signifies very little.
His permanent necessity is always to exceed his revenue.
I don't think my father's feelings were very deep. He was a good-natured
husband, but, I am afraid, not a good one. I loved him better than I
loved mamma. Children are always captivated by gaiety and indulgence. I
was not of an age to judge of higher things, and I never missed the
article of religion, of which, I believe, he had none. Although he lived
so much in society that he might almost be said to have no domestic life
whatever, no man could be simpler, less suspicious, or more easily
imposed upon.
The answer to Miss Grey's letter was the arrival of my father. He was in
passionate grief, and in a state of high excitement. He ran upstairs,
without waiting to take off his hat; but at the door of our darling's
room he hesitated. I did not know he had arrived till I heard him, some
minutes later, walking up and down the room, sobbing. Though he was
selfish, he was affectionate. No one liked to go in to disturb him. She
lay by this time in her coffin. The tint of clay darkened her pretty
features. The angelic beauty that belongs to death is transitory beyond
all others. I would not look at her again, to obscure its glory. She lay
now in her shroud, a forlorn sunken image of decay.
When he came out he talked wildly and bitterly. His darling had been
murdered, he said, by neglect. He upbraided us all round, including
Rebecca Torkill, for our cruel carelessness. He blamed the doctor. He
had no right, in a country where there was but one physician, to go so
far away as fourteen miles, and to stay away so long. He denounced even
his treatment. He ought to have bled her. It was, every one knew, the
proper way of treating such a case.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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