"O Peter, man, what a delivery ye hae?--an' sae fu' o' the dictioner'! Troth but ye wad cut a figure i' the poopit! There wad nae dust gather on your cushion--there wad be nae sleeping, nodding, or snoring, while my Peter was preachin'. An', oh, hinny, but ye will mak me a glad mother, if ye'll consent to gang to the college! Ye wadna be lang o' gettin a kirk, my man--I can tell ye that; an', if ye'll only consent to gang, ye shanna want pocket-money that your faither kens naething about--my bairn shall appear wi' the best o' them. For syne ever ye was an infant, it has aye been my hope an' my prayer, Peter, to see ye a minister; an' I ne'er sent a hunder eggs or a basket o' butter to the market, but Peter's pennies were aye laid aside, to keep his pockets at the college." Peter was, in the main, a most dutiful and most affectionate son; but on this point he was strangely stubborn; and he replied-- "Wheesht, mother! wheesht!--nae mair aboot it." "Nae mair aboot it, bairn!" said she; "but I maun say mair aboot it. Man! wad ye fling awa yer learnin' at a dyke-side, an' yer talents at a pleugh-tail? Wad ye just break yer mother an' faither's heart? O Peter! Peter, man, hae ye nae spirit ava?--What is yer objection?" "Weel, keep your temper, mother," said he, "an' I'll tell ye candidly:--The kirk puts a strait-jacket on a body that I wadna hae elbow-room in!" "What do ye mean, ye graceless?" added she, in a voice betokening a sort of horror. "Oh, naething particular; only, for example, sic bits o' scandal as--the Reverend Peter Paterson was called before the session for shooting on his ain glebe--or, the Reverend Peter Paterson was summoned before the presbytery for leistering a salmon at the foot o' Tammy the Miller's dam--or, the Reverend Peter Paterson was ordered to appear before the General Assembly for clappin' Tammy the Miller's servant lassie on the shouther, an' ca'ing her a winsome quean--or"---- "Or!"--exclaimed his impatient and mortified mother--"Oh, ye forward an' profane rascal ye! how daur ye speak in sic a strain--or wad ye be guilty o' sic unministerial conduct?--wad ye disgrace _the coat_ by sic ungodly behaviour?" "There's nae sayin', mother," added he; "but dinna be angry--I'm sure, if I did either shoot, leister, or clap a bonny lassie on the shouther, ye wadna think it unlike your son Peter." "Weel, weel," said the good-natured matron, softened down by his manner; "it's true your faither says--it's nae use striving against the stream; an' a' gifts arena graces. But if ye'll no be a minister, what will ye be? Wad ye no like to be a writer or an advocate?" "Worse an' worse, mother! I wad rather beg than live on the misery of another." "Then, callant," added Betty, shaking her head, and sighing as she spoke--"I dinna ken what we'll do wi' ye. Will ye no be a doctor?"