Produced by Al Haines [Frontispiece: "But the impudence of you, to do it right here!" she goes on. "No one but you, Torchy, would have thought of that."] WILT THOU TORCHY BY SEWELL FORD AUTHOR OF TORCHY, TORCHY, PRIVATE SEC, ETC. ILLUSTRATIONS BY FRANK SNAPP AND ARTHUR WILLIAM BROWN NEW YORK GROSSET & DUNLAP PUBLISHERS COPYRIGHT, 1915, 1916, 1917, BY SEWELL FORD COPYRIGHT, 1917, BY EDWARD J. CLODE CONTENTS CHAPTER I. ON THE WAY WITH CYBIL II. TOWING CECIL TO A SMEAR III. TORCHY HANDS OUT A SPILL IV. HOW HAM PASSED THE BUCK V. WITH ELMER LEFT IN VI. A BALANCE FOR THE BOSS VII. TORCHY FOLLOWS A HUNCH VIII. BREAKING ODD WITH MYRA IX. REPORTING BLANK ON RUPERT X. WHEN AUNTIE CRASHES IN XI. A JOLT FROM OLD HICKORY XII. TORCHY HITS THE HIGH SEAS XIII. WHEN THE NAVY HORNED IN XIV. AUNTIE TAKES A NIGHT OFF XV. PASSING THE JOKE BUCK XVI. TORCHY TAKES A RUNNING JUMP XVII. A LITTLE SPEED ON THE HOME STRETCH ILLUSTRATIONS "But the impudence of you, to do it right here!" she goes on. "No one but you, Torchy, would have thought of that." . . . . . . _Frontispiece_ "I don't think I ever saw Auntie come so near beamin' before. She seems right at home, fieldin' that line of chat. And Vee, too, is more or less under the spell. "For a second it looked like Gladys was goin' to freeze with horror; but she just gives Valentina the once-over and indulges in a panicky little giggle." "Then she grips me around the neck and snuggles her head down on my necktie--say, then I knew." WILT THOU TORCHY CHAPTER I ON THE WAY WITH CECIL It was a case of declarin' time out on the house. Uh-huh--a whole afternoon. What's the use bein' a private sec. in good standin' unless you can put one over on the time-clock now and then? Besides, I had a social date; and, now Mr. Robert is back on the job so steady and is gettin' so domestic in his habits, somebody's got to represent the Corrugated Trust at these function things. The event was the openin' of the Pill Box; you know, one of these dinky little theaters where they do the capsule drama at two dollars a seat. Not that I've been givin' my theatrical taste the highbrow treatment. I'm still strong for the smokeless war play where the coised spy gets his'n good and hard. But I understand this one-act stuff is the thing to see just now, and I'd picked up a hunch that Vee and Auntie had planned to be in on this openin' until Auntie's sciatica developed so bad that they had to call it off. So it's me makin' the timely play with a couple of seats in E center and almost gettin' hugged for it. Even Auntie shoots me an approvin' glance as she hands down a favorable decision.