Humbly, I told him that I was a stranger; that I lived near and had
just walked out for a little glimpse of the city. He told me to keep
straight ahead until I came to Twenty-third Street, and stand there a
while till the hayseeds fell off me. I gave him a dime. He graciously
allowed me to accompany him. The city street widens beautifully at
Twenty-third. It had seemed like one of our narrow mountain gulches.
I gave my little lad another dime. I wanted to be told so much. The
open space, vague in the fog, is Madison Square; the street that
rolled away into the gloom, the Avenue, and the white, white foggy
flare of light, Broadway.
Some weight of the city’s loneliness fell on me as I retraced my
steps alone. The fog seemed denser—it might have been because the
light lay behind. A few blocks down, as I turned into my own street,
my own audacious thoughts brought me to a standstill. If I kept
straight on I would come to Washington Square. An old schoolmate
lived there.
I had no difficulty in recognizing the Arch, the cross on the
church, the light that burns always. I found the number. I would
have thought I had made a mistake, but I have written it so often. I
went up the bare, worn steps, rang a jangly bell. A slatternly woman
came to the door. Back of her I could see a dingy hall lighted by a
blinking gas jet. She called my friend loudly. There was no reply.
She said her work was heavier in the spring, that she was often very
late.
I had pictured my artist friend in her studio home surrounded with
comfort. “Hasn’t she a studio?” I stammered. The woman laughed
loudly. “Her room, third floor back, ain’t no bigger ’n yo’ hand. She
paints an’ sews an’ cooks, eats an’ lives an’ sleeps there, ’cept
when she got jobs out.”
I turned and fled. I was trembling so I could hardly stand. Such a
fragile, lovely creature—my friend back in my school-girl days. A
joyous young creature, fashioned for joy. I did not want to see her;
I knew instinctively that she did not want to see me.
On the street again, out of the foggy darkness, a shadow lurched
toward me. I shrank against the building I was passing. It bent and
looked into my face, laughed drunkenly, and passed on. I tried to
move. My limbs had taken root. As I stood there flattened against
that wall I heard cautious, descending footsteps, whispering voices.
Some people were coming down nearby steps, and I was glad. I would
follow close behind them. After what was to me a very long time, as
they did not pass, I went in the direction of their voices, until I
stumbled over a dark mass that lay in my path. Something told me. The
slow, cautious steps, the whispering voices—I dropped to my knees on
the pavement. The face I lifted and looked into was a young girl’s.
She was unconscious. I sprang up. There was movement in my limbs now.
I ran, breathless, into a man. I caught him by the arm, pleading with
him to hurry; I dragged him to the girl on the pavement. I gasped out
all I knew.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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