Female friendship -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
But the fact of possessing these wide sympathies did not lessen any
obligation she felt to herself. It was her creed to “play the game” as
far as in her lay, and according to her own definition.
That definition did not admit of any irregularity of this kind. It
called, instead, sternly and insistently for absolute denial. It told
her now, without the smallest shadow of doubt, that from tonight she
must never see Sir Edwin again. She must take whatever interest he had
brought out of her life, and go back to the old, monotonous round.
It was useless to question or reason. The decree was there in her own
heart. The insistent call to keep her colours flying high, as she
fought her way through the pitfalls of life to the Highest and Best.
As she paced the room behind her, disclosing a carefully thought-out
plan, now pleading, now expostulating, she heard him rather as one afar
off.
The plan did not matter one way or another. If she could have let
herself go at all she would not have troubled about plans. His pleading
and expostulating she scarcely heard.
She was looking out at all the lights, and her mind was grappling with
problems. How harsh the glare of the streets appeared tonight. How far,
far away the pin points that were stars. Hal liked a city.
Constellations hanging like great lamps in wonderful, wilderness skies
would have wearied her quickly. She loved people, and she liked them
all about her. But tonight she felt suddenly very near to the dark,
shadowy side of life—very far from the stars of light.
She glanced up at the pin points a little wistfully. If perhaps they
were nearer with their message of high striving; if perhaps the glare
at hand were less harsh, there might be so much more steadfast courage
in the world; so much less weak acceptance of conditions that led to
pain and misery and disaster.
At last he stood beside her, and implored her to tell him, once for
all, that she would yield and come.
But when he saw into the clear depths of her eyes, he knew his hopes
were vain.
Suddenly, with swift self-distrust, his mood softened.
“I suppose I’ve shocked you past forgiveness now,” he said miserably.
“You’ll think I’ve been a brute to you, and you’ll never forget it.”
“No; I shan’t think that; but I should like to go home at once.”
“But surely that is not your last word!”
“What else is there so say? I... I... can’t do that sort of thing. That
is all. From today you must go your way, and I must go mine. It is
useless to discuss it. Let me go home.”
“But you can’t mean it,” he cried. “Surely we are not to part like
this.”
She had moved back into the room now, and was pulling on her gloves.
“What else can we do?”
“But you care for me, Hal. You can’t deny it. You do care a little;
don’t you?”
She looked into his eyes without a tremor, but with a pain at the back
of hers that made him flinch.
“Yes, I care,” she said very quietly.
“Ah!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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