Female friendship -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
To do Lorraine justice, she was not actively at fault. Her sense of
fair play made her try sincerely to make the best of what had all along
been an inevitable fiasco. She did not sin in deed against the man to
whom she had sold herself, but in thought it was hardly possible for
her to give him anything but tolerance, or to feel much beyond the
callous indifference she purposely cultivated, to make their life
together endurable. The things that at first only irritated her grew
almost unbearable afterwards.
Lorraine’s father had been a gentleman by birth, breeding, and nature.
If she inherited from her mother an ambitious, calculating spirit, she
also inherited from her father refinement, and tone, and a certain
fineness character, that showed itself chiefly in unorthodox ways, for
the simple reason that her life and conditions were entirely removed
from a conventional atmosphere.
As a man she might merely have lived a double life, conforming to the
conventions when advisable, and following her own ambitions and bent in
secret, without ever apparently stepping over the line.
As a woman she could but cultivate callous indifference to a great
deal, and satisfy her soul by “playing fair” according to her lights,
in the path before her, but nothing could save her from a mental nausea
of the things in her husband which belonged to his plebeian origin and
nature, and which crossed with a shrivelling, searing touch her own
inherent refinement and high-born spirit.
The objectionable friends he brought to the house she found it easier
to bear than the things he said about them behind their backs; neither,
again, was his addiction to drink so trying as his mental coarseness. A
man who had drank too much could be avoided, but the lowness of Frank
Raynor’s mind seemed to follow and drag hers down.
Yet for two years she held bravely on, cultivating a hard spirit, and
throwing herself heart and soul into the first delicious joy of
success. This last surprised even her friends and admirers. A moderate
hit was quite expected, but not a triumph which placed her almost in
the first rank, and was due not merely to her acting, but to a bigness
of spirit and comprehension she had never before had an opporturnty to
reveal.
It was, indeed, the justification of Hal’s devotion. Hal, by her very
nature, could not love a small-minded woman. What she so unceasingly
loved and admired in Lorraine was a hidden something she alone had had
the perspicacity to perceive, and could so instinctively rely upon. It
was the something which, given once a fair opening, carried her quickly
through the company of the lesser successes, and placed her on that
high plane which demands soul as well as skill.
Then came the dreadful climax. In a drunken, mad moment her husband
hurled at her that he had been her mother’s lover, and proposed to
return to his old allegiance—had, in fact, already done so.
Lorraine immediately packed up her own special belongings and left his
roof for ever.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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