Bildungsromans; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
The horse, growing restless, began tugging at the bridle and she spoke
to him sharply. She plunged into a description of a man she had seen on
the lecture platform during her visit to the East and Sam looked at her
with puzzled eyes.
“He was beautiful,” she said. “He was past sixty but looked like a boy
of twenty-five, not in his body, but in an air of youth that hung over
him. He stood there before the people talking, quiet, able, efficient.
He was clean. He had lived clean, body and mind. He had been companion
and co-worker with William Morris, and once he had been a mine boy in
Wales, but he had got hold of a vision and lived for it. I did not hear
what he said, but I kept thinking, ‘I want a man like that.’
“Can you accept my beliefs and live for what I want to live?” she
persisted.
Sam looked at the ground. It seemed to him that he was going to lose
her, that she would not marry him.
“I am not accepting beliefs or ends in life blindly,” he said stoutly,
“but I want them. What are your beliefs? I want to know. I think I
haven’t any myself. When I reach for them they are gone. My mind shifts
and changes. I want something solid. I like solid things. I want you.”
“When can we meet and talk everything over thoroughly?”
“Now,” answered Sam bluntly, some look in her face changing his whole
viewpoint. Suddenly it seemed as though a door had been opened, letting
in a strong light upon the darkness of his mind. His confidence had come
back to him. He wanted to strike and keep on striking. The blood rushed
through his body and his brain began working rapidly. He felt sure of
ultimate success.
Taking her hand, and leading the horse, he began walking with her along
the path. Her hand trembled in his and as though answering a thought in
his mind she looked up at him and said,
“I am not different from other women, although I do not accept your
offer. This is a big moment for me, perhaps the biggest moment of my
life. I want you to know that I feel that, though I do want certain
things more than I want you or any other man.”
There was a suggestion of tears in her voice and Sam had a feeling that
the woman in her wanted him to take her into his arms, but something
within him told him to wait and to help her by waiting. Like her he
wanted something more than the feel of a woman in his arms. Ideas rushed
through his head; he thought that she was going to give him some bigger
idea than he had known. The figure she had drawn for him of the old man
who stood on the platform, young and beautiful, the old boyish need of
a purpose in life, the dreams of the last few weeks--all of these were a
part of the eager curiosity in him. They were like hungry little animals
waiting to be fed. “We must have it all out here and now,” he told
himself. “I must not let myself be swept away by a rush of feeling and I
must not let her be.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account