Bildungsromans; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
And, then, after a talk with Grover he began to spend more and more time
with her, forcing her to take with him daily, long walks in the open
air. He tried valiantly to keep her mind fixed on cheerful things and
went to bed happy and relieved when a day ended that did not bring a
stormy passage between them.
There were days during that period when Sam thought himself near
insanity. With a light in her grey eyes that was maddening Sue would
take up some minor thing, a remark he had made or a passage he had
quoted from some book, and in a dead, level, complaining tone would talk
of it until his head reeled and his fingers ached from the gripping of
his hands to keep control of himself. After such a day he would steal
off by himself and, walking rapidly, would try through pure physical
fatigue to force his mind to give up the remembrance of the persistent,
complaining voice. At times he would give way to fits of anger and
strew impotent oaths along the silent street, or, in another mood, would
mumble and talk to himself, praying for strength and courage to keep his
own head during the ordeal through which he thought they were passing
together. And when he returned from such a walk and from such a struggle
with himself it often occurred that he would find her waiting in the arm
chair before the fire in her room, her mind clear and her little face
wet with the tears of her repentance.
And then the struggle ended. With Doctor Grover it had been arranged
that Sue should be taken to the hospital for the great event, and they
drove there hurriedly one night through the quiet streets, the recurring
pains gripping Sue and her hands clutching his. An exalted cheerfulness
had hold of them. Face to face with the actual struggle for the new
life Sue was transfigured. Her voice rang with triumph and her eyes
glistened.
“I am going to do it,” she cried; “my black fear is gone. I shall give
you a child--a man child. I shall succeed, my man Sam. You shall see. It
will be beautiful.”
When the pain gripped she gripped at his hand, and a spasm of
physical sympathy ran through him. He felt helpless and ashamed of his
helplessness.
At the entrance to the hospital grounds she put her face down upon his
knees so that the hot tears ran through his hands.
“Poor, poor old Sam, it has been horrible for you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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