Bildungsromans; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
A picture of the long table covered with the white cloth at the end of
the big dining room in Freedom’s house came back into the mind of
the boy now sitting in the barren little kitchen before the untasted,
badly-cooked food. Upon it lay a profusion of bread and meat and great
dishes heaped with steaming potatoes. At his own house there had
always been just enough food for the single meal. The thing was nicely
calculated, when you had finished the table was bare.
How he had enjoyed that dinner after the long day on the road. With a
flourish and a roar at the children Freedom heaped high the plates and
passed them about, the wife or the tomboy girl bringing unending fresh
supplies from the kitchen. The joy of the evening with its talk of the
children in school, its sudden revelation of the womanliness of the
tomboy girl, and its air of plenty and good living haunted the mind of
the boy.
“My mother never knew anything like that,” he thought.
The drunken man who had been sleeping aroused himself and began talking
loudly--some old forgotten grievance coming back to his mind, he talked
of the cost of school books.
“They change the books in the school too often,” he declared in a loud
voice, turning and facing the kitchen stove, as though addressing an
audience. “It is a scheme to graft on old soldiers who have children. I
will not stand it.”
Sam, enraged beyond speech, tore a leaf from a notebook and scrawled a
message upon it.
“Be silent,” he wrote. “If you say another word or make another sound to
disturb mother I will choke you and throw you like a dead dog into the
street.”
Reaching across the table and touching his father on the hand with a
fork taken from among the dishes, he laid the note upon the table under
the lamp before his eyes. He was fighting with himself to control a
desire to spring across the room and kill the man who he believed had
brought his mother to her death and who now sat bellowing and talking
at her very death bed. The desire distorted his mind so that he stared
about the kitchen like one seized with an insane nightmare.
Windy, taking the note in his hand, read it slowly and then, not
understanding its import and but half getting its sense, put it in his
pocket.
“A dog is dead, eh?” he shouted. “Well you’re getting too big and smart,
lad. What do I care for a dead dog?”
Sam did not answer. Rising cautiously, he crept around the table and put
his hand upon the throat of the babbling old man.
“I must not kill,” he kept telling himself aloud, as though talking to a
stranger. “I must choke until he is silent, but I must not kill.”
In the kitchen the two men struggled silently. Windy, unable to rise,
struck out wildly and helplessly with his feet. Sam, looking down at
him and studying the eyes and the colour in the cheeks, realised with a
start that he had not for years seen the face of his father. How vividly
it stamped itself upon his mind now, and how coarse and sodden it had
become.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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