Villages -- England -- Fiction; Yorkshire (England) -- Fiction
"Again the gloves are laid upon the counter, and again the D.Y.G.
replaces the lid and attacks another box! Meanwhile the lady's gaze is
wandering abstractedly around the shop; picking out an acquaintance
here and there she smiles a recognition; and she seems a little vexed
when a third pair of gloves is placed before her. The same performance
follows, with the same serenity on both sides, but the price has
dropped to five shillings.
"Then the kids are produced, in all shades and at all prices, and are
in turn deposited upon the counter without comment.
"At last the D.Y.G. has exhausted his stock and his familiar
recitations, but fortunately not his urbanity, and he looks at his
customer with deprecation in his eyes.
"'You had some white kid gloves in the window a week or two ago,' she
murmurs, smiling sweetly; 'ten buttons; they were a special price, I
think.'
"'Two-and-eleven, madam?' he asks, hopefully.
"'I believe they were. Yes, two-and-eleven,' she responds, as though
consideration had confirmed her recollection; and in two minutes more
her wants are satisfied, and she departs to another counter to the
performance of Scene 2 in the same act."
"And this is typical of woman's methods?" I ask.
"It serves to show," he replies, "how unfathomable her methods are to
mere man. When _we_ unimaginative mortals enter a shop for a similar
purpose we say:
"'I want a pair of tan kids, seven and three-quarters, about
three-and-six,' and before the current of cold air which came in with
us has circulated round the shop, we are going out with the little
parcel in our pocket. Now why does not woman do the same? _You_ don't
know--nobody knows; nobody really wants to know, or to see her act
otherwise."
"It is a very silly exaggeration," I said, "and if it is characteristic
of _your_ methods they are certainly not past finding out."
The Cynic is really a very irritating person. He has a way of ignoring
your rejoinders which is most annoying, and makes you want to rise up
and shake him. Besides, it isn't courteous.
"Now to return to your own case, Miss Holden. It is not typical and
therefore I call it prototypical. _Why_ you have forsaken London
society (which in this case I spell with a small 's,' to guard against
possible repudiation) is possibly known to yourself, though personally
I doubt it. Why, having found the hermitage and the simple life, you
have adopted photography as a profession in a village where you will be
fortunate if you make an annual profit of ten pounds is another enigma.
But kudos is not everything, and I see in you the archetype of a race
of women philosophers of whom the world stands sorely in need."
"You talk like a book," I said, "and use mighty big words which in my
case need the interpretation of a dictionary, but I'm afraid they cover
a good deal of rubbish, which is typical, if I may say so, of the
ordinary conversation of the modern smart man."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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