_St. Paul's Garden Fete, Newport, June 23rd, 1910._ I am not accustomed to begging, being more accustomed to being begged of. That is one of the hereditary privileges of members of the House of Lords. _Meeting in connection with the new Infirmary for Newport, March 17th, 1897._ It appears to me that my good qualities increase in proportion as the hair comes off the top of my head, and it is well that in proportion as we grow less ornamental we should grow more useful. _Tredegar Show, November 29th, 1876._ I really think I must be out of place here. You know I am one of the hereditary nonentities. I cannot help the hereditary part of the business, and I have tried all my life to avoid the other. _South Monmouthshire Conservative Association, December 22nd, 1909._ You ought, of course, to learn something about ancient art, or you will be like a certain Lord Mayor of whom I have heard. One day he received a telegram from some people who were carrying on excavations in Greece, and who had discovered a statue by Phidias. They thought, in common with most foreigners, that the Lord Mayor was the most powerful person in the kingdom--abroad he is supposed to rule the country. Anyway, they sent him a telegram saying "Phidias is recovered." The Lord Mayor wired back that he was pleased to hear it, but that he did not know that Phidias had been unwell. _Art School Prize Distribution, Newport, December 12th, 1899._ A noted musician, when asked whether he thought it was right to carry out capital punishment, replied: "No; because you can do a man to death with a piano." _At Llandaff, June 26th, 1900._ [Illustration: "_You can do a man to death with a piano._"] I believe I have laid more foundation stones than any other man in England. I have mallets and trowels sufficient to supply, I believe, every Parish Church in the country. They are very handsome and ornamental, and I hope I shall have more of them. _Foundation Stone Laying, St. John's Church, Cardiff, March 12th, 1889._ [Illustration: "_I believe I have laid more foundation stones than any other man in England._"] We (agriculturists) are looked upon as a long-suffering and patient race, and some of the manufacturing class think we are fit subjects for bleeding. In fact, it has been said that agriculturists are like their own sheep, inasmuch as they can bear a close shaving without a bleat; whereas the manufacturers are like pigs; only touch their bristles and they will "holler like the devil." _Tredegar Show, December 17th, 1867._ Lord Rosebery is alternately a menace and a sigh. _Conservative Dinner, Newport, November 15th, 1895._ We have had an old-fashioned winter, and I do not care if I never see another. The only people, I fancy, who have enjoyed the winter are the doctors and the Press. _Servants' Ball_, _January 16th, 1891._ MEMORIES OF BALACLAVA.