England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
anxious to inspire others with her own energy and force; she, who had
felt herself the support of her family, their standard-bearer, the only
one who was doing anything to uphold the falling house--in a moment she
had herself fallen too, undermined even in her own opinion. Many a blow
and thrust had she received in the course of her combative life, and
given back with vigour and a stout heart. Never before had she lost her
confidence in herself; the certainty that she was doing her best, that
with her was the redeeming force, the honourable principle which might
yet convert the others, and save the family, and elevate the life of the
house. What she felt now was that she herself, the last prop of the
Despards, was overthrown and lying in ruin. Was it possible that she was
selfish too, seeking her own ease like the rest, avoiding what she
disliked just the same as they did? A sudden moisture of intense pain
suffused Lottie’s eyes. She was too heartstruck, too fallen to weep. She
covered her face with her hands, though there was no one to cover it
from, with the natural gesture of anguish, seeking to be hidden even
from itself.
Lottie did not pay much attention, although she heard steps coming up
the stair. What did it matter? Either it was Law, who had stricken her
so wantonly to the ground; or her father, who did not care what happened
to her; or Mrs. O’Shaughnessy, who did not count. Few other people
mounted the stairs to the little drawing-room in Captain Despard’s
house. But when she raised her head, all pale and smileless, and saw
that the visitor was Mr. Ashford, Lottie scarcely felt that this was a
stranger, or that there was any occasion to exert herself and change her
looks and tones. Did not he think so too? She rose up, putting down her
work, and made him a solemn salutation. She did not feel capable of
anything more. The Minor Canon drew back his hand, which she did not
see, with the perturbation of a shy man repulsed. Lottie was not to him
so unimportant a person as she was to her brother. She was surrounded by
all the unconscious state of womanhood and mystery and youth--a creature
with qualities beyond his ken, wonderful to him, as unknown though
visible, and attracting his imagination more than any other of these
wonderful mystic creatures, of whom he had naturally encountered many in
his life, had ever done. His heart, which had so swelled with pity and
admiration on Sunday evening, was not less sympathetic and admiring
now, notwithstanding that it was through Law’s eyes that he had been
seeing her to-day; and this repulse, which was so unlike her candour and
frankness yesterday, gave him a little pain. He wanted to be of use to
her, and he wanted to tell her so--and to repel him while he had these
generous purposes in his mind seemed hard. He sat down, however,
embarrassed, on the chair she pointed him to; and looking at her, when
thus brought nearer, he discovered, even with his short-sighted eyes,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account