England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
how pale she was and how woebegone. Some one had been vexing her, no
doubt, poor child! This took the shyness out of Mr. Ashford’s voice.
“I have come to make my report,” he said, in as even a tone as he could
command, “about Lawrence. He has told you--that he has been with me most
of the day?”
“Yes.” When Lottie saw that more than this monosyllable was expected
from her, she made an effort to rouse herself. “I fear it is not
anything very encouraging that you have to say?”
“I have two things to say, Miss Despard--if you will permit me. Did you
ever read Lord Chesterfield’s Letters? But no, perhaps they are not
reading for such as you. There are many wickednesses in them which would
disgust you, but there is one most tragic, touching thing in them----”
He made a pause; and Lottie, who was young and variable, and ready to
be interested in spite of herself, looked up and asked “What is that?”
“I wonder if I may say it?--it is the effort of the father to put
himself--not a good man, but a fine, subtle, ambitious, aspiring
spirit--into his son; and the complete and terrible failure of the
attempt.”
“I do not know--what that can have to do with Law and me.”
“Yes. Pardon me for comparing you in your generous anxiety to a man who
was not a hero. But, Miss Despard, you see what I mean. You will never
put yourself into Law. He does not understand you; he is not capable of
it. You must give up the attempt. I am only a new acquaintance, but I
think I must be an old friend, somehow. I want you to give up the
attempt.”
He looked at her with such a kind comprehension and pity in his eyes,
that Lottie’s heart sprang up a little from its profound depression,
like a trodden-down flower, to meet this first gleam of sunshine. She
did not quite see what he meant even now, but it was something that
meant kindness and approval of her. “He cannot think _that_ of me!” she
said to herself.
“I am glad you will hear me out,” he said, with a look of relief, “for
the rest is better. Law is not stupid. He would not be your brother if
he were stupid. He is a little too prudent, I think. He will not hear
of emigrating, because he has no money, nor of trying for the army,
because he could not live on his pay. Right enough, perhaps, in both
cases; but a hot-headed boy would not mind these considerations, and a
fellow of resolution might succeed in either way.”
“He has always been like that,” said Lottie. “You see Law does not want
anything very much except to be as well off as possible. He would never
make up his mind what to try for. He says, anything; and anything
means---- Oh! Mr. Ashford, I want to ask you something about myself. Do
you think it is just as bad and selfish of me to refuse to be--oh! a
public singer? I thought I was right,” said Lottie, putting out her
hands with unconscious dramatic action, as if groping her way; “but now
I am all in doubt. I don’t know what to think. Is it just the same? Is
it as bad of me?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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