England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
Minor Canon could do--to come and stand by the lonely girl, though no
one but himself knew what his meaning was. It could not be any help to
Lottie, who was not even conscious of it. Perhaps, after all, the sole
good in it was to himself.
Lottie had never sung so little well. She did not sing badly. She took
trouble; the Signor felt she tried to do her best, to work at it, to
occupy herself with the music by way of getting rid of things more
urgent which would press themselves upon her. In short, for the time
Lottie applied herself to it with some faint conception of the purposes
of art. To have recourse to art as an opiate against the pangs of the
inner being, as an escape from the harms of life, is perhaps not the
best way of coming at it, but the Signor knew that this was one of the
most beaten ways towards that temple which to him enshrined everything
that was best in the world. It was, perhaps, the only way in which
Lottie was likely to get at it, and he saw and understood the effort.
But it could not be said that the effort was very successful. The
others, who were thinking only of her, felt that Lottie did not do so
well as usual. She was not in voice, Purcell said to himself; and to the
Minor Canon it seemed very natural that after the scene which she had
just gone through poor Lottie should have but little heart for her work.
It was easily explained. The Signor, however, who knew nothing of the
circumstances, came to the most true conclusion. The agitation of that
episode with Polly would not have harmed her singing, however it might
have troubled herself, had Lottie’s citadel of personal happiness been
untouched. But the flag was lowered from that donjon, the sovereign was
absent. There was no inspiration left in the dull and narrowed world
where Lottie found herself left. Her first opening of vigorous
independent life had been taken from her, and for the first time the
life of visionary passion and enthusiasm was laid low. She did not give
in. She made a brave effort, stilling her excited nerves, commanding her
depressed heart. The Signor himself was more excited than he had been by
all the previous easy triumphs of her inspiration. Now was the test of
what she had in her. Happiness dies, love fails, but art is for ever.
Could she rise to the height of this principle, or would she drop upon
the threshold of the sacred place incapable of answering to the guidance
of art alone? Never before had he felt the same anxious interest in
Lottie. He thought she was groping for that guidance, though without
knowing it, in mere instinct of pain to find something that would not
fail her. She did not rise so high as she had done under the other
leading; but to the Signor this seemed to be in reality Lottie’s first
step, though she did not know it, on the rugged ascent which is the
artist’s way of life. Strait is the path and narrow is the way in that,
as in all excellence. The Signor praised her more than he had ever
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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