England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
sort--to go over everything that had happened, with a dazzle of light
and delight and triumph round her. She seemed to herself to have thrown
down all the boundaries that had hitherto separated her from her lawful
sphere. If a suitor should come from that higher and better world who
could wonder now? Had she not been adopted into it--received to her just
place at last?
And naturally it was upon Rollo that her recollections chiefly centred;
he was the chief figure of the whole company to Lottie. She remembered
minutely everything he had said and done, the expression of his face
(though she put infinitely more meaning in it than was there), the tone
of his voice. How the room had become at once full of interest, of
excitement, when he came in, clearing away all the dimness! Lottie had
scarcely time even to wonder how and where their next meeting would be,
for thinking of this first meeting. How his face had lighted up when he
saw that she was there; how he had been caught by some one on his way to
her, and kept talking in spite of himself, with his eyes upon her all
the time; how he had escaped and pressed through all the fine company to
get to her side; how he had confessed that he had but a very visionary
right to claim her acquaintance at all, but nevertheless meant to stand
on that right as, for the time being, the son of the house! Lottie had
scarcely forgotten a word of all he said. And, as a matter of fact,
Rollo had been very careful to behave himself with due discretion, not
to make it too apparent that her voice was the thing that most
interested him. She thought that he admired her singing as a part of his
enthusiasm for herself. She had not a suspicion of the real state of the
case. It seemed to her that her voice was a delightful discovery to him,
a something _pardessus le marché_, an added charm; that it was the sole
foundation of his apparent enthusiasm never occurred to the girl;
neither, though she knew that her general triumph was caused by her
singing, did she solely set down to that cause the friendly looks and
smiles and flattering compliments she had received. This was absurd, but
we do not pretend that Lottie was beyond the reach of absurdity. She
knew that it was her singing which had suddenly silenced all the
conversation going on in the room, and called the attention of
everybody; but yet it was surely something more; it was herself, not her
voice, which brought that kindly look to their eyes as they smiled upon
her. It is hard to acknowledge to ourselves that it is for some special,
perhaps accidental, quality we may possess, that we are favoured and
esteemed by our fellow-creatures. Human nature is humbled by the
conviction that it is the possession of a gift worthy of popularity
which makes an individual popular. We all prefer to be prized for
nothing at all, for ourselves. And this, in the face of circumstances,
and clean against all reason, was what Lottie hoped and determinedly
believed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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