Jocelyn also had fallen into rather soldier-like ways, and after
being so free with Confederate scrip, with difficulty learned the
value of paper money of a different color.
Moreover, in addition to a certain lack of foresight and frugal
prudence, bred by army life and Southern open-heartedness, he
cherished a secret habit which rendered a wise, steadily maintained
policy of thrift wellnigh impossible. About two years before the
opening of our story he had been the victim of a painful disease,
the evil effects of which did not speedily pass away. For several
weeks of this period, to quiet the pain, he was given morphia powders;
their effects were so agreeable that they were not discontinued
after the physician ceased to prescribe them. The subtle stimulant
not only banished the lingering traces of suffering, but enabled
him to resume the routine of business with comparative ease much
sooner than he had expected. Thus he gradually drifted into the
habitual use of morphia, taking it as a panacea for every ill. Had
he a toothache, a rheumatic or neuralgic twinge, the drug quieted
the pain. Was he despondent from any cause, or annoyed by some
untoward event, a small white powder soon brought hopefulness
and serenity. When emergencies occurred which promised to tax his
mental and physical powers, opium appeared to give a clearness and
elasticity of mind and a bodily vigor that was almost magical, and
he availed himself of the deceptive potency more and more often.
The morbid craving which the drug inevitably engenders at last
demanded a daily supply. For months he employed it in moderate
quantities, using it as thousands do quinine, wine, or other
stimulants, without giving much thought to the matter, sincerely
intending, however, to shake off the habit as soon as he felt a
little stronger and was more free from business cares. Still, as the
employment of the stimulant grew into a habit, he became somewhat
ashamed of it, and maintained his indulgence with increasing
secrecy--a characteristic rarely absent from this vice.
Thus it can be understood that his mind had ceased to possess
the natural poise which would enable him to manage his affairs in
accordance with some wisely matured system of expenditure. In times
of depression he would demand the most rigid economy, and again he
would seem careless and indifferent and preoccupied. This financial
vacillation was precisely what his wife had been accustomed to in
her early home, and she thoughtlessly took her way without much
regard to it. He also had little power of saying No to his gentle
wife, and an appealing look from her blue eyes would settle every
question of economy the wrong way. Next year they would be more
prudent; at present, however, there were some things that it would
be very nice to have or to do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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