Since the revelation of her father's condition Mildred had finally
relinquished her class at the mission chapel. Her sensitive spirit
was so shadowed by his evil that she felt she would be speechless
before children who might soon learn to associate her name with
a vice that would seem to them as horrible as it was mysterious.
Bread and shelter she must obtain, but she was too fear-haunted,
too conscious of the shame to which she was linked, to face the
public on any occasion not connected with her daily toil.
The pride characteristic of American people who have lapsed
from a better condition was intensified by her Southern birth and
prejudices. More than hunger, cold, and even death, she feared being
recognized, pointed out, stared at, and gossiped about, while the
thought of receiving charity brought an almost desperate look into
her usually clear blue eyes. Therefore she shrank from even Mr.
Wentworth, and was reticent on all topics relating to their domestic
affairs. She knew that there were many families whom he was almost
sustaining through crises of illness and privation; she also knew
that there were far more who sought to trade upon his sympathies.
While she could take aid from him as readily as from any one, she
also believed that before she could receive it she must be frank
concerning her father. Rather than talk of his shame, even to her
pastor, it might well be believed that the girl would starve. What
she might do for the sake of the others was another question.
Mr. Wentworth in sadness recognized the barrier which Mildred's
pride was rearing between them, but he was too wise and experienced
to be obtrusively personal. He sought earnestly, however, to guard
the young girl against the moral danger which so often results from
discouragement and unhappiness, and he entreated her not to part
with her faith, her clinging trust in God.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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