"But the Eytalian insists he never meets Dave. This makes Dave ugly
a lot, an' before I gets to butt in an' stop it, he outs with his
six-shooter, an' puts a hole into the music-box.'
"'These yere tunes I hears so far,' says Dave, 'is too frivolous; I
figgers that oughter sober 'em down a whole lot.'
"When Dave shoots, the Eytalian party heaves the strap of his hewgag
over his head, an' flies. Dave grabs the music-box, keepin' it from
fallin', an' then begins turnin' the crank to try it. It plays all
right, only every now an' then thar's a hole into the melody like
it's lost a tooth.
"'This yere's good enough for a dog!' says Dave, a-twistin' away on
the handle. 'Where's this yere Merino? Whatever is the matter with
that shorthorn? Why don't he stand his hand?'
"But Merino ain't noomerous no more; so Dave allows it's a shame to
let it go that a-way, an' Mexicans sufferin' for melody. With that
he straps on the tune-box, an' roams 'round from one 'doby to
another, turnin' it loose.
"'How long does Merino deal his tunes,' says Dave, 'before he
c'llects? However, I makes new rooles for the game, right yere. I
plays these cadences five minutes; an' then I gets action on 'em for
five. I splits even with these Mexicans, which is shorely fair.'
"So Dave twists away for five minutes, an' me a-timin' of him, an'
then leans the hewgag up ag'in a 'doby, an' starts in to make a
round-up. He'll tackle a household, sort o' terrorisin' at 'em with
his gun; an' tharupon the members gets that generous they even
negotiates loans an' thrusts them proceeds on Dave. That's right;
they're that ambitious to donate.
"One time he runs up on a band of tenderfeet, who's skallyhootin'
'round; an' they comes up an' bends their y'ears a-while. They're
turnin' to go jest before c'llectin' time.
"'Hold on,' says Dave, pickin' up his Colt's offen the top of the
hewgag; 'don't get cold feet. Which I've seen people turn that kyard
in church, but you bet you don't jump no game of mine that a-way.
You-all line up ag'in the wall thar ontil I tucks the blankets in on
this yere outbreak in F flat, an' I'll be with you.'
"When Dave winds up, he goes along the line of them tremblin'
towerists, an' they contreebutes 'leven dollars.
"'They aims to go stampedin' off with them nocturnes, an' 'peggios,
an' arias, an' never say nothin',' says Dave; 'but they can't work
no twist like that, an' me a-ridin' herd; none whatever.'
"Dave carries on sim'lar for three hours; an' what on splits, an'
what on bets he wins, he's over a hundred dollars ahead. But at last
he's plumb fatigued, an' allows he'll quit an' call it a day. So he
packs the tom-tom down to Franklin's office. Franklin is marshal of
Tucson, an' Dave turns over the layout an' the money, an' tells
Franklin to round up Merino an' enrich him tharwith.
"'Where is this yere Dago?' says Franklin.
"'However do I know?' says Dave. 'Last I notes of him, he's
canterin' off among the scenery like antelopes.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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