Bohemianism -- Fiction; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Married people -- England -- Fiction
Dora, as soon as Gabrielle had left the drawing-room, was seized with an
intangible terror. Doubt and uncertainty had undermined her spirits. She
no longer felt her usual dauntless courage. She was afraid of being
alone, afraid of the unknown, afraid of the man who, at any moment,
might enter the room; but, above all, was her thought for the child. "My
poor little treasure! going to be ill perhaps!" A horrible thought
flashed across her mind and wrung a cry from her lips. "Oh, no, no, my
God, not _that_! no, not if there is justice in heaven!" Calming herself
with an effort, she went on, "Ah, if it was not for the child, I would
leave this house to-day, I would go no matter where, take a few brushes,
and earn my bread with them. It would be hard if I could not turn my
work to some account and lead a life independent of everyone. Oh to live
anywhere, to live anyhow, dear Heaven, rather than go on with this
existence which revolts me and is crushing me! Oh, how lonely it is! how
silent the house is! The very air chokes me--where is Philip now? What
has happened that he is not here? What is he doing? Oh, my head burns
so! I will send up for Gabrielle--no, she must stay with Eva. What to
do? Send a telegram to Lorimer, and ask him to come quickly?--no, I
should have to give explanations. Beg the General to excuse me; tell him
I am not well and am obliged to retire."
She was interrupted in her reflections by the entrance of a servant who
brought a telegram. Feverishly she broke open the envelope and read:
"Missed nine o'clock train, started at noon, and will be with you at
eight o'clock."
She looked at the timepiece. It was ten o'clock, and Philip had not yet
arrived. The telegram was from Dover. What could have happened since?
"Then, Philip may perhaps not be here at all to-night," she said to
herself; "I shall be forced to pass the rest of the evening with General
Sabaroff. Is it an accident ... or a diabolical plot? No, no, the
thought is too horrible. I must, I will chase it out of my mind. And
yet--oh, there is only one thing to be done. Yes, yes, no more
hesitation; I will finish with the General, and to-night. No more shall
Philip accuse me of not helping him. I will get Sabaroff's signature, if
power of mine can do it. I will be extra amiable to him--repulsive task!
Philip shall have his beloved money, for which he has broken my heart,
and then--then I have done with him for ever."
When she lifted her eyes, Sabaroff stood before her. Immersed in her own
thoughts, she had not seen him come in. At once rising, she collected
her ideas rapidly and scarcely showed sign of embarrassment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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