Bohemianism -- Fiction; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Married people -- England -- Fiction
"It was not my fault that you overheard my wretched secret; but a
foolish liaison, which seemed to a strictly nurtured girl so vile a
thing, can it, must it make me for ever odious to a sweet and gracious
woman who knows the world? How many men have succeeded in keeping on
virtue's path altogether? The members of the Young Men's Christian
Association are not recruited from among the ranks of our society."
"Does wrong become right by multiplication?" said Dora, who was not
sorry to see the turn that the conversation had taken, a turn which
would give her the opportunity of making a little sermon that should
cool down the ardour of the General. "I shall never be able to
understand why the men who belong to what is called Society should not
be expected to conduct themselves as honourably as those of the modest
middle classes. It is from above that example should come, and, believe
me, it will have to come from above, or society will disappear for want
of having fulfilled its mission."
"Well, well, you may be right," said Sabaroff; "but listen to my story.
For months, for years, I could not bear to think of all that I had lost
in losing you. Was it any wonder that I went half mad and ran into all
kind of excesses? The light of your pure eyes was turned away from me. I
tossed about like a rudderless ship, and only my ambition saved me from
wreckage of body and soul."
"Does it not seem to you a little cowardly," said Dora, glad to recover
the thread of her little sermon, "for a man to lay the blame for such a
life at a woman's door, because he would not exercise the self-control
that thousands of women have to exercise almost all their lives? Do you
think it is only men who feel? Ah, believe me, there are few women who
have not had, at some period of their lives, to suffer and be silent, to
hold a bursting heart, and go about the daily task, with its cruel,
half-mechanical routine, which leaves the mind free to dwell on all the
misery that stirring scenes might help it to forget. Those who give way
to their despair, society mocks at; those who abandon themselves to
their passions, society puts outside the pale."
Dora began to feel that she was putting too much heat into her reply.
With an attempt at a tone of indifference, she went on--
"But tell me more about that saving grace of ambition, General. It has
made you a great and powerful man."
"Great, no; powerful, yes," replied Sabaroff, and he laid an insinuating
stress on the word _yes_, which did not escape Dora's notice. "But, of
all the satisfaction which my present position of confidence with my
imperial master has brought me, nothing is so sweet as the power of
doing what I am going to do for you."
"I am so proud you approve of the shell--then you will have it taken up
by the Russian Government?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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