"My kind and excellent mother,--After writing to you in such haste,
I felt my inmost heart melt as I read your letter again, and I
worshipped you. How shall I return to you, when shall I return to
you, and can I ever return to you, by my love and endeavors for
your happiness, all that you have done for me? I can at present
only express my deep thankfulness. . . . How deep is my gratitude
towards the kind hearts who pluck some of the thorns from my life
and smooth my path by their affection. But constrained to an
unceasing warfare against destiny, I have not always leisure to
give utterance to what I feel. I would not, however, allow a day
to pass without letting you know the tenderness your late proofs
of devotion excite in me. A mother suffers the pangs of labor more
than once with her children, does she not, my mother? Poor
mothers, are you ever enough beloved! . . . I hope, my much
beloved mother, you will not let yourself grow dejected. I work as
hard as it is possible for a man to work; a day is only twelve
hours long, I can do no more. . . . Farewell, my darling mother; I
am very tired! Coffee burns my stomach. For the last twenty days I
have taken no rest; and yet I must still work on, that I may
remove your anxieties. . . . Keep your house; I had already sent
an answer to Laura, I will not let either you or Surville bear the
burden of my affairs. However, until the arrival of my proxy, it
is understood that Laura, who is my cash keeper, will remit you a
hundred and fifty francs a month. You may reckon on this as a
regular payment; nothing in the world will take precedence of it.
Then, at the end of November to December 10, you will have the
surplus of thirty-six thousand francs to reimburse you for the
excess of the expenditure over the receipts during the time of
your stewardship; during which, thanks to your devotion, you gave
me all the tranquility that was possible. . . . I entreat you to
take care of yourself! Nothing is so dear to me as your health! I
would give half of myself to keep you well, and I would keep the
other half, to do you service. My mother, the day when we shall be
happy through me is coming quickly; I am beginning to gather the
fruits of the sacrifices I have made this year for a more certain
future. Still, a few months more and I shall be able to give you
that happy life--that life without cares or anxiety--which you so
much need. You will have all you desire; our little vanities will
be satisfied no less than the great ambitions of our hearts. Oh
do, I pray you, nurse yourself! . . . Your comfort in material
things and your happiness are my riches. Oh! my dear mother, do
live to see my bright future realized!"[*]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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