Another almost equally effective cause of her lack of response to the
stone-carver’s emotion was the cynical and world-deep weariness that
had fallen upon her, since this dreadful marriage with Goring had
become a settled event. Face to face with this, she felt as though
nothing mattered very much, and as though any feeling she herself might
excite in another person must needs be like the passing of a shadow
across a mirror--something vague, unreal, insubstantial--something
removed to a remote distance, like the voice of a person at the end
of a long tunnel, or as the dream of someone who is himself a figure
in a dream. If anyone, she felt, broke into the enchanted circle that
surrounded her, it was as if they sought to make overtures to a person
dead and buried.
It was almost with the coldness and detachment of the dead that she now
answered him, and her voice went sighing across the wet fields with a
desolation that would have struck a more normal mind than Andersen’s as
the incarnation of tragedy. He was himself, however, strung up to such
a tragic note, that the despair in her tone affected him less than it
would have affected another.
“I have come to feel,” said she, “that I have no heart, and I feel as
though this country of yours had no heart. It ought to be always cloudy
and dark in this place. Sunshine here is a kind of bitter mockery.”
“You do not know--you do not know what you say,” cried the poor
stone-carver, quickening his pace in his excitement so that it became
difficult for her to keep up with him. “I have loved you, since I
first saw you--that day--down at our works--when the hawthorn was out.
_My_ heart at any rate is deep enough, deep enough to be hurt more
than you would believe, Lacrima. Oh, if things were only different! If
you could only bring yourself to care for me a little--just a little!
Lacrima, listen to me.”
He stopped abruptly in the middle of a field and made her turn and face
him. He laid his hand solemnly and imploringly upon her wrist. “Why
need you put yourself under this frightful yoke? I know something of
what you have had to go through. I know something, though it may be
only a little, of what this horrible marriage means to you. Lacrima,
for your own sake--as well as mine--for the sake of everyone who has
ever cared for you--don’t let them drag you into this atrocious trap.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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