Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English drama
Dex. (_l.c._) Nothing, dear boy--nothing for myself. I have only brought
a letter from my little girl, and am to take back an answer. (_Produces
letter and hands to Allen._) I’m only Cupid to you young folks. Ha! Hat
Only Cupid.
Allen. Ah, they usen’t to wrap ’em up so much when I wur young.
(_Crosses R., opens and reads letter._)
Dex. (_Who is very much wrapped and buttoned up, laughs with much
ostentation._) Ha! Ha! Very good, very good. We really must bring you
out more, Allen. Ha! Ha! Ha!
Allen. (_Who has sat r.in front of desk, reading._) “My darling
Popsy-wopsy.” (_Looks up puzzled and round at Dex. Aside._) That ain’t
Clara’s usual style. (_Reads._) “I am so terribly sorry to worry my own
darling boy, but I am in such fearful trouble--I want £100 to pay some
debts owing to a wicked man having cheated us. Would my own darling lend
it to his broken-hearted little blossom, and don’t say anything to me
afterwards until I pay you back, as I shall be so ashamed of it. I send
papa with this. He knows nothing about it, so please don’t tell him--he
is so proud.--(_Allen looks at Dex., who turns away and tries to assume
airy unconsciousness_)--and would be so angry with me, but you are the
only friend I have. Oh, my darling, do let me have the money or I shall
go mad. A million, million kisses to my own sweet, precious lubby-dubby
from his ever loving little birdie, Clara.” (_Dex. sits c._) “P.
S.--Please don’t cross the cheque.”
(_Takes cheque-book from desk and begins to write._) Was Clara ill when
she wrote this?
Dex. (_Who is sitting at table L.c. having wine._) No, my dear boy--oh,
no.
Allen. Oh, because the writing seems a bit shaky like, and the letter so
funny--thought maybe she wur a bit queer.
Dex. (_Confused._) Oh--ah--yes. She was a little queer--very shaky
indeed--and she seemed very much worried, too, she wouldn’t tell me what
about. She tries to keep all her trouble away from her old father, dear
child. (_Enter Clara unseen by either._) Ah, I know how anxiously she’s
waiting for me now. “Come back soon, dear, dear papa,” she said--“and
bring it with you.” (_Crying r.c._)
(_Allen having put the cheque in an envelope rises and crosses and holds
it to Dex. Clara steps forward and takes it._)
Clara. Thank you! (_c. of the two men._)
Allen. Miss Dexter!
Dex. Clara!
Clara. This letter is addressed to me, I believe. (_Opens it and takes
out cheque, which she returns to Allen._) It’s very kind of you, Mr.
Rollitt, but I do not require it.
Allen, (_r._) Didn’t thee write for it? (_Showing letter to her._) Isn’t
this thy letter?
Clara. (_Looking at it._) It is the first time I have seen it. It has
the appearance of having been written by someone who was drunk over
night--possibly my father--imitating other people’s handwriting is one
of the few things at which he has attained eminence. (_Looks at Dex._)
Dex. Clara, my dear!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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