Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English drama
Mrs. R. Ah, the men bain’t much to say for their-selves, poor things.
Thee must go by what they does. Why, thee uncle kept company wi’ me for
three years, an’ un never said a word. The first year un only sot and
stared, and the second year un put un’s arm round my waist, and the
third year un kissed me, and then mother said it were time to put up the
banns, and her done it.
Deb. (_Laughs._) Ah, the man that wants to marry me will have to ask me
ever and ever so many times and plead, oh, as if his life depended on it
(_tossing her head--at fire._)
Mrs. R. Ah, the lad be shy, that be all. He be frightened ’o thee.
Deb. (_Smiling._) Of me, aunt?
Mrs. R. Ah, sure!--(_Laughs._)--I expect un be worrying hisself finely
for fear thee doan’t care for un, a fancying thee prefers Jim Harkabuck,
maybe.
Deb. (_Demurely--goes up r. and gets l. of Mrs. Rollitt._) Jim
Harkabuck is a very nice fellow, and he does stare. (_Smiling, and going
to her aunt._) Do you think Allen really--really does--Aunt? (_Kneels to
Mrs. Rollitt, who turns her head away r. a little._)
Mrs. R. (_Laughing, and shaking her off playfully. Pauses._) Does he!
Why beant he alius quarreling wi’ thee, and doan’t he eat twice as
much o’ anything if he knows thee cooked it--and besides--(_Pauses and
becomes absorbed in stockings._)
Deb. Besides what, aunt?
Mrs. R. Why didn’t I find un only the evening afore last when un didn’t
know I wur there. (_Laughing._)
(_Enter Rachael l. door with fish in frying-pan.--Deborah rises._)
Rach. (_Crossing r. and giving it to Deborah._) Shall I put it on, Miss?
Deb. (_c. goes R. to fireplace._) No, I’ll see to it; Rachael, thank
you.
Rach. I have put some butter in the pan, Miss.
(_Exit Rachael l. down stage._)
Deb. Yes, aunt. (_r. of table and seeing to fish with back to Mrs.
Rollitt._) You--you were saying how you came upon Allen the other
evening, aunt, when he didn’t know you were there, and he was doing
something.
Mrs. R. Ah, yes, it wur Toosday, and he--not in love wi’
’ee--(_laughing_)--why--(_taking up stocking and looking at hole._)
Ah, look at that now, blest if I can make out where the holes come from,
just.
Deb. What was he doing, aunt?
Mrs. R. Why there un wur wi’ your--
(_Enter Purtwee c.--who coughs._)
Mrs. R. (_Turning, and seeing him as he stands in doorway._) What, Mr.
Purtwee! (_Deborah in despair goes to fire and cooks fish._) Well, ’ee
do surprise me! ’Ee be quite a stranger. Come in. Thee be just in time
for a bit of sup.
Mr. P. (_Coming down l. c., puts hat on staircase rail._) I couldn’t
pass the place without looking in, I’ve just left the trap outside.
(_Shakes hands._) And how are we?
Mrs. R. Oh, I be middlin’ well, thank ’ee, and how’s yerself?
Mr. P. Oh, nicely enough, and--(_To Deborah crossing r._)--how’s Miss
Deborah Deacon?
Deb. Very well, thank you, Mr. Purtwee.
Mr. P. That’s all right--you look it, my dear (_Taking her hands._) Why
I declare she’s getting quite a woman!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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